Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML
Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML
Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML
Today, on the crowded train, a cute guy called me over and told me to stand next to him because there were less people there. We started talking, but he left before I could get his number. Just when I was about to tell my friends about it, I find out that he stole my phone. FML
Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML
Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML
Today, as I was about to get onto the bus, my bus pass fell out of my hands. Being in a rush, I barely picked it up from the street not having a good grasp of it, just to have it fall again as I was about to swipe it. It felt like the whole bus was staring at me. FML
Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML
Today, a really cute guy sat across from me on the bus. He smiled at me, then tensed his muscles and lifted a heavy bag with one arm. Thinking he was trying to act "macho" to impress me, I rolled my eyes and threw him an annoyed/disgusted look. When he got off, I realized he only had one arm. FML
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Top comments
p0kegeek 4
Look on the bright side. If he uses your credit cards, you can meet up with him when he's arrested.
Lisimal 7
The acts of seduction...
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Comments (157)
tornado87 0
It's not 'proceeds' that annoys me, it's comments like #19 and #27: the generic 'don't do the thing that made the bad thing happen to you' notion that everyone should be more careful. Captain Obvious strikes again! This is FML for a reason, people are sharing a story not asking for advice on how not to repeat their mistakes. Oh and #33, way to go, you've never seen the OP she may be really hot? The thief blatantly was out to nick her wallet, doesn't mean she shouldn't feel attractive.
effmuhlyf3 0
i think the word "proceed" should be considered a horrible cuss word now. or at least have it as a rule in the terms of agreement promising you wont say it. its THAT annoying lol. but hey thats just my opinion. if it doesnt count then why put a comment button for me to use?
carabear555 0
that is why i dont and will never carry a purse or anything.. everything you need should fit into yer pant pockets :)
Morganxbabyyy 0
wowww, that really sucks. im sorry, maybe you should put your wallet in a safer place. but yeah fyl!
papertigers_fml 0
and then i proceeded to be really annoyed
baysidebird88 0
wow that really sucks
uhmfml 0
#42, maybe the obvious is stated because the it wasn't that obvious to the OP. If it was, the FML would have never happened. Someone had to point it out.
lifeislife_fml 0
#35: What's annoying is that every other FML uses "proceeds to" whether it fits well or not. The people who submit FMLs with that phrase in it are the ones who need to learn some new vocabulary, not us.
candii_fml 0
thatt fuckkeenn suksss :/
hsdtt03 0
this is almost exactly, word-for-word, from another FML. :)