Today, I was putting a wristband on a little boy's wrist so he could swim in the waterpark. Just before I finished, he coughed all over my hands and arms. I finished and looked up at the boy just in time for us to make eye contact and for him to cough directly into my face. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML
Today, I was on a roller coaster behind a boy who vomited in front of me as the cart shot down. It splattered all over my arm, and a little on my cheek. FML
Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML
Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
Today, I was in class when I coughed up so much snot inside my mouth. It was so gross, I couldn’t talk. I raised my hand to go over to the sink to spit it out but I couldn’t talk and he didn’t understand, so I just got up and walked over. A few kids in the back saw me do it and said, "Ewwww." Everyone stared. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was working at the theater as an usher. A man came up to me and gave me his ticket. At the same time, he took a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
christopherlove 0
That's assault. I would have drop kicked the little ******.
Narelon 12
I absolutely HATE dealing with shitty little brats that don't bother to cover their mouth / nose when they cough or sneeze.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (21)
stabbed1ntheback 0
I think that means he likes you
brayrox33 6
Ugh shut up you whiny little orick!
eman1972 4
That just goes with the territory. Thank God you didn't have to give a mouth to mouth resuscitation.
feelingfree27 7
Wow. How is this an fml? He coughed in your face oh my god!
Silly_Lilly6969 23
Germs!!!!!
Narelon 12
I absolutely HATE dealing with shitty little brats that don't bother to cover their mouth / nose when they cough or sneeze.
noobienick 19
This is exactly why I hate kids.
Baller_Bob 17
Idiot boy
fantasyworld 39
Parents need to teach their kids to cover their mouths when they sneeze/cough.
fryebaby623 14
apparently his parents need a manners course and teach him how to cover his mouth. gross.