Today, my grandmother is shocked that literally all of her kids and grandkids have mental handicaps. She won't admit it's because her and my grandfather are first cousins, and is claiming instead it's, "because of gluten." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML
Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML
Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML
Today, my grandmother tried to lecture me about discrimination. This is the same woman who lies about her grandchildren's race, and tried to convince a Jewish person that the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust. FML
Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML
Today, my mom is furious that I won’t let her babysit my kids anymore. Twice they’ve come home with vomiting and diarrhea after she let them eat nothing but desserts the entire day. Her excuse? Grandmas are supposed to spoil their grandkids. Spoil, not give them diabetes. FML
Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML
Today, while at my family reunion, I learned my grandparents were first cousins. No wonder we're all crazy hillbillies. FML
Today, my husband and I found out that our daughter's chronic stomach aches are due to gluten intolerance, so we need to cut all wheat out of our diet. We're bakers. FML
Today, my aunt informed me that she thinks I'm faking the debilitating disease I've had for the past 13 years. Apparently she thinks I just don't want to go to college or get a job, and that I like living on disability. She also added that my entire extended family agrees with her. FML
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Top comments
andrewgr 4
It might not be gluten, but it likely to be environmental, because having kids with a first cousin is not likely to result in any discernable genetic flaw, mental or otherwise. Yes, it increases the probability of such a flaw, but it doesn't increase the chances enough to make it probable. Most of the genetic problems that result from inbreeding happen when there are multiple generations of it, such as when royal families would have closely related couples marry and have kids every generation. Also, brother/sister pairing are way more of a problem than 1st cousins. If it is genetic rather rhan environmental, I think it's likely that the genetic flaw is just due to unfortunate genes, rather than inbreeding. The odds of 1st cousins having 2 full generations in which every sing person has a mental handicap are astronomically low.
JackWood 21
Hate to break it to you but first cousin is no big deal. States that allow first-cousin marriages Alabama, California, Colorado, Connecticut, the District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, New Mexico, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia, and Vermont
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Comments (5)
andrewgr 4
It might not be gluten, but it likely to be environmental, because having kids with a first cousin is not likely to result in any discernable genetic flaw, mental or otherwise. Yes, it increases the probability of such a flaw, but it doesn't increase the chances enough to make it probable. Most of the genetic problems that result from inbreeding happen when there are multiple generations of it, such as when royal families would have closely related couples marry and have kids every generation. Also, brother/sister pairing are way more of a problem than 1st cousins. If it is genetic rather rhan environmental, I think it's likely that the genetic flaw is just due to unfortunate genes, rather than inbreeding. The odds of 1st cousins having 2 full generations in which every sing person has a mental handicap are astronomically low.
JackWood 21
Hate to break it to you but first cousin is no big deal. States that allow first-cousin marriages Alabama, California, Colorado, Connecticut, the District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, New Mexico, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia, and Vermont
IHaveThePower 18
There probably is a genetic factor, but the first-cousin marriage bit isn't it. Unless you've had cousins banging for a couple generations, this is just your usual 'abled people pop out disabled lineage' thing.
Rake 18
First cousin does not explain why almost all kids and especially not why all grandkids have mental disabilities. I suggest to really check genetic markers, but also other problems that might be related.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Science says (insert 'Family Feud' wrong answer buzzer sound here). That goes for both of you?