Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was riding the subway, reading a book, when a woman suddenly shoved a flyer over my book. Aghast by her rude gesture, I declined to take the paper. I looked over and noticed it was a flyer for a missing girl. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML
Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML
Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, in a crowded store, I waved at someone who looked familiar. The woman frowned, looked behind her, then back at me, and said, “Do I know you?” I panicked and said, “Yes… spiritually?” She walked away faster than I’ve ever seen flee. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML
Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML
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Top comments
melij99 5
It's a simple rule my friend: Treat others the way you would like to be treated.
ManInTheMachine 20
You should probably listen to what someone has to say before you snap at them. I can gurantee she tried to say something, and wasn't just thrusting paper in your face.
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Comments (105)
Demonfish 14
Poor woman, you must have looked murderous :P
Tidus0 17
Hahahahaha Adelaide (the capital of south Australia) is the "murder" capital of Australia. We've had a few this year xD. And also people don't realize how bad these street preachers are. The police arrest them, businesses lose sales and they try jam shit into people.
outoftown 27
#75, That bad? Yuck. No wonder OP was on the defensive. One US city I was in, the street preachers had sound systems and were as pushy as you describe. Businesses finally got local laws changed. Now, the preachers are either polite and quiet, or they are not on the street.
TheRoomFan 8
To your credit it would have been nice if she just yelled "Sir, you dropped something!". Although your reaction may have been over the top, having someone just wave a paper around in your face is not pleasant. It's like if someone found my ipod on the floor and just shoved it in my pocket rather than letting me know that I had dropped it.
Warden1986 16
I'm sure they won't have returned your IPod. Paper yes, iPod no.
TheMathMajor 26
I would have returned the iPod...
dead247 13
If I found an IPod and no one wad around, I would have pocketed it. If the person came back looking for it I would give it back. I would have also gave back the iPod if I saw the person forget it.
unknown_user5566 27
That's why you don't assume things, OP. If she was actually coming to spew "hateful propaganda" at you, wouldn't a simple "No thank you" have been sufficient?
unknown_user5566 27
I agree, avoid them when you can if you don't want to hear what they have to say. But if they do approach you, I think screaming in their face is going a bit overboard.
Werken247 14
I prefer to tell them I worship the Devil. Then I ask them if they'd like to come and sacrifice a virgin with me and bathe in her blood afterwards.
Grimmerie 31
I answered the door naked once. The Jehovahs were not impressed.
ICastillo 25
With all that hate you need Jesus's in your life Op... "The power of Christ compels you ass"
DocBastard 40
Religious nuts pedal hateful propaganda now? I thought they preach love, understanding, and tolerance. Just like me.
unknown_user5566 27
My first thought was that they were the fire and brimstone preachers, who scream YOU'RE GOING TO HELL! for anything and everything. Also, since when do you preach love, understanding, and tolerance, Doc? :)
ManInTheMachine 20
Actually, Keevarou was the most loving, understanding person on here, and people loved him. I actually miss his comments. :(
DocBastard 40
Kylee, I've ALWAYS preached love, dammit!! Always!!!
Werken247 14
They do preach love, tolerance and understanding.... then they tell you you're a sinner who's going to burn in hell for eternity if you don't give them money.
ICastillo 25
If anything Doc it's tough love that you preach.. But still love none the less.
jelly713 19
I agree with Doc. He always preach love advice when it comes to the relationship issues here on FML. Always reasonable stuff. [=
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Guys, guys. It must be opposite day.
dead247 13
Westboro baptist church is what you're talking about right?
CrewBoy 10
Well, if someone is threatening me with hell ill threaten them with something else. If they didn't want to be threatened, they shouldn't threaten me. Treat others how you want to be treated.
TotallyAradical 14
Dick move.
sougstad 7
Assuming makes and ass of u and me. Hope you felt like an ass.
greeneyebeauty9 28
it's a thing called manners. a simple "no thank you" or "no i'm fine." would have been pleasant.
Pensu 12
I wish we lived in a world where "no thank you" made street preachers stop following you around. Truly I do.
chisty87 16
OP I hope you apologized for being a dick...