Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was riding the subway, reading a book, when a woman suddenly shoved a flyer over my book. Aghast by her rude gesture, I declined to take the paper. I looked over and noticed it was a flyer for a missing girl. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML
Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML
Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, in a crowded store, I waved at someone who looked familiar. The woman frowned, looked behind her, then back at me, and said, “Do I know you?” I panicked and said, “Yes… spiritually?” She walked away faster than I’ve ever seen flee. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML
Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML
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Top comments
melij99 5
It's a simple rule my friend: Treat others the way you would like to be treated.
ManInTheMachine 20
You should probably listen to what someone has to say before you snap at them. I can gurantee she tried to say something, and wasn't just thrusting paper in your face.
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Comments (105)
dessicakez 7
You didn't really mean to so I understand that. It's really ironic that that happened but it's not really your fault so don't be hard on yourself.
DohIMissed 6
YDI for not realizing what is it about.
supahcoolperson 0
That was a total dick move on your part, even IF it was the people preaching stuff that woulda been totally wrong of you, they don't deserve that and I don't think you would like if someone treated you that way either
kerrywoodwins20 2
Street preachers? Not to be invasive, but were you going to get an abortion?
Bluejaywilde 10
It's a man, dipshit. Says it right under the fml.
Pensu 12
Replace that with "to be INCREDIBLY INVASIVE."
kerrywoodwins20 2
But seriously, the woman who got screamed at should have made an FML, not you.
RvidxrKlvn 8
I don't think he deserves as much as people are saying he does because he might've just been really offended by whatever the preacher was spewing.
nevereyes 31
And preachers are offending by being there, the bullshit and "anti this anti that" only make them more offending.
MorganXAlexander 6
YDI ass hole
KiddNYC1O 22
Calm your tetas!
oathkeeper77 5
"Today, I tried to return something that fell out of a stranger's pocket, thinking I was being a nice person. They snapped and told me to **** off." Now that's an FML. But yeah, those crazy propaganda people are irritating
Tidus0 17
Omg those rundle mall street preachers. We copped them at Glenelg at NYE last year. Search in YouTube "trolling preachers rundle mall" very funny ;)