Today, my partner and I got called out to a domestic disturbance. Things turned ugly while we were en-route. Long story short, I now know how many grown men it takes to lift a nearly 400lb shit-covered woman onto a stretcher. I almost reconsidered my choice of career. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML
Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
Today, I realised just how grossly out of shape I am, when I started violently sweating, felt light-headed, and almost blacked out. All this from helping my sister shift a sofa from the move-in truck to her living room. FML
Today, my husband was finally moving out. I picked up his enormous duffle bag full of clothes to help get him out faster, and I threw out my back. I now can't move. I can't even wipe my own ass. FML
Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML
Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML
Today, I answered the door at my boyfriend's house to an obese woman, who looked and smelled homeless, and rudely tried to barge past me to get inside. I told her to get out or I’d call the police. My boyfriend behind me saw this disgusting woman and said those two awful words: “Hi Mom.” FML
Today, I found an upside to being morbidly obese. My partner got a flat tyre, and the bolts had rusted tight, making it impossible for him to turn the wrench. I had to put my substantial weight behind it, and in the end we managed to get them all off by me jumping on the wrench each time. FML
Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML
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Top comments
Miss_Chevious 37
I would have said it could've been worse... but really, I got nothing.
david66_fml 20
I'm kinda curious as to how something like that happens. We need a follow up!
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Comments (92)
AlphaWolf0722 18
Ah, EMS.
joeymo304 9
I know your pain bro
PuppiesKisses 19
My aunt got huge before she died about 3 years ago; she got so big she was pooping in a bucket and didn't move off of the coach. She was mentally ill and convinced someone was trying to poison her so she would only eat prepackaged food that she opened herself. The irony of that is she poisoned herself. She had a stroke and responders were there almost immediately. If this was an average person she would have made it to the hospital on time and had good prospects. It took them over two hours to get her out and I can't even remember how many fire men it took. The stroke caused her digestive system to die. She could eat but it was futile. She was so huge she spent a whole three months laying in bed waiting to starve to death. The facility she ended up in didn't take Medicare but they made an exception for her; they for a $4000 bed for free that was designed for the morbidly obese out of it. I feel bad for these people I truly do, but what point do they have on his earth on they get to this size? Just a humongous blob eating waiting to die. They can't live life and become a burden on everyone who loves them as well as the government.
tonyfan00 38
....I...I don't even know how to feel or respond to this...
russfml 31
First thing that came to mind. "This here is ma washing stick".
PrideOfTheFallen 19
Follow up please. What the hell happened exactly
CosmicGenius 10
Well... Shit.
rustybucket 24
I have to know this full story. We need a follow up!
vikky538 29
Out of 400 lb how of the weight that shit has.
jkjorn 18
Rewrite that in English please.
DBJ99 14
Guessing either a cop, or a different emergency service worker? Cop, nurse, fire fighter etc. I have huge respect for guys like that because I had to watch my heavy mother be lifted by 8 firefighters on a stretcher when her leg broke from cancer. God bless you dude!
axhxtx 7
That is some shitty luck!