Today, my partner and I got called out to a domestic disturbance. Things turned ugly while we were en-route. Long story short, I now know how many grown men it takes to lift a nearly 400lb shit-covered woman onto a stretcher. I almost reconsidered my choice of career. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML
Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
Today, I realised just how grossly out of shape I am, when I started violently sweating, felt light-headed, and almost blacked out. All this from helping my sister shift a sofa from the move-in truck to her living room. FML
Today, my husband was finally moving out. I picked up his enormous duffle bag full of clothes to help get him out faster, and I threw out my back. I now can't move. I can't even wipe my own ass. FML
Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML
Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML
Today, I answered the door at my boyfriend's house to an obese woman, who looked and smelled homeless, and rudely tried to barge past me to get inside. I told her to get out or I’d call the police. My boyfriend behind me saw this disgusting woman and said those two awful words: “Hi Mom.” FML
Today, I found an upside to being morbidly obese. My partner got a flat tyre, and the bolts had rusted tight, making it impossible for him to turn the wrench. I had to put my substantial weight behind it, and in the end we managed to get them all off by me jumping on the wrench each time. FML
Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML
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Top comments
Miss_Chevious 37
I would have said it could've been worse... but really, I got nothing.
david66_fml 20
I'm kinda curious as to how something like that happens. We need a follow up!
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Comments (92)
RockstarJAy 16
Well, how many?
MsMurphy8613 12
I'm not the OP but having had a similar situation (400+ lb patient covered in feces who couldn't get off the floor) it takes 3 firefighters, an EMT and a paramedic.
hfslkp47012759 28
Soo young adult on the naive side here...why are people asking "how many"?
quackImapenguin 16
The OP said "I now know how many grown men it takes to lift..." so I think they're asking how many grown men it took to lift her.
santas_cartel 3
"great Scott, this is heavy" ~stuart little
mds9986 24
Hey op, don't stop helping people just because 1 lady can't take care of herself. You're doing good work and shouldn't let one bad experience stop it.
quackImapenguin 16
What makes you think she can't take care of herself? Domestic disturbance and her having to be put on a stretcher makes me think she was abused somehow- probably injured, perhaps covered in shit by her abuser. How dare you judge her like that without the full story?
mds9986 24
You don't have the full story either. You can't blame other people on being 400lbs.
quackImapenguin 16
Weight isn't the fault of people, it's the fault of genetics and in some cases medical conditions.
laden_swallow09 35
You don't have the full story either. She could very well fit the stereotype of lazy, apathetic blob who likes sweet and fried things a little too much for all you know.
mds9986 24
No 58, genetics doesn't dictate what you put in your mouth and eat.
quackImapenguin 16
Or she might not fit that stereotype, you don't know, so you ought to withhold judgment until you know. That said, there are plenty of skinny people who eat whatever the **** and because of genetics just don't happen to gain weight. Where's the judgment for that? Besides, I don't see why eating oneself fat is something we should judge people for. Why should we prioritize conforming to societies beauty standards over the enjoyment of food? It's not like there's anything ethically wrong with not fitting arbitrary beauty standards. But honestly, I doubt if it's even possible to get to 400lbs without some genetic or medical component, speaking as a 130lb person who doesn't do anything for the sake of exercising and eats as much as I want whenever I want. Are you judging me for my lifestyle now? Probably not because I'm thin. So why should someone who behaves the same way but gets a different outcome due to chance get more judgement for it? Why should people have added responsibilities foisted on them just because of something genetics did to them by chance? For some people appearance just isn't a priority and I don't see why we should judge them for it. I see a hell of a lot more wrong with people who do prioritize appearance honestly.
mds9986 24
It has nothing to do with beauty standards. Preventable diseases cost more money in the healthcare system more than almost anything else. Thus, if you are eating yourself into an early grave(even if you're skinny) then yes you are just as bad.
mds9986 24
The money that could go toward funding cancer research is going toward people who can't take care of themselves. Guess who paid for multiple Paramedics to come and bring that 400lb person to the hospital? Yup, I did, right out of my taxes.
minagiv 11
I hear these stories all the time; my husband works for Boston EMS. People can be so ridiculous.
writerchic85 26
Fml for the 400 lb shit covered woman as well. I would say more so because somehow she got to that point and I'm sure it wasn't fun.
LifeOfAnRN 18
I worked in an ER for many years and was on the receiving end of those messes. Yeah, I would be the nurse who cleaned that up.
LH_FIRE_22 12
We get the same calls. Know how you feel OP, stay safe
tbrihysm 10
that's so bad ):
FoucaultsBitch 6
Way to make yourself the victim... Don't you think the whole experience was a lot worse for the woman?