Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I started a new job that was highly recommended by a worker there. The same coworker that is now making my life a living hell. FML
Today, I started a new job. The synopsis of my training was, "You're starting a job you're going to hate and you'll be fired for entertaining yourself while waiting for us to give you more work. But you're going to love being here." FML
Today, my first day at the job, I went up to my coworker and began to ask her name. She cut me off and snapped, “I have a name.” FML
Today, the girl who tormented my life for nine years was hired at my part-time job. We're assigned to work together on a three-month-long project which will involve tons of communication. FML
Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML
Today, I got a new job. This would've been a good thing, but apparently, the person I'm replacing was very well-liked around my workplace. All of my co-workers hate me now for replacing someone who I don't even know. FML
Today, I started my new job at a small business. I was pretty excited to finally be working, until I found out the big boss is a creeper and sees no problem making comments such as "You're way more interesting than the rest of these slope-eyed fucks." FML
Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "Mom" while at work. FML
Today, I found out my ex is applying for a job at my current company. She may become my boss. FML
Today, I started a new job. After being trained on several obscure computer programs I'm expected to use in just one day, my new boss informed me she's going on a week long vacation starting tomorrow. She's the only other person who knows how this program runs. FML
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Top comments
asleepingbear 8
Illuminati?
TwitchingNebula 17
At least you don't have to wonder who the office nut is anymore.
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Comments (132)
Japie89 3
I say, take her out before she takes you out!
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
So... What are your plans exactly? :)
Satoaoi 13
crazy people I tell ya
luccmon 6
That's awesome.
Jezzababy 10
What the **** even what a creeper careful she may explode in your face!!
Yolandababy2 14
I would of told her "I know where you live, I know who your husband cheats with, and I will **** you up if you mess with me bitch so stay the **** out my way!!!" then I'll flip her the bird with a big smile on my face and walk away...LMAO tell that bitch KNOW YOUR BOUNDARIES
ligerzero459 24
Whoa whoa whoa, I think that may be a little over the top
Shadowlainx 11
you should yell, This is war!
davek 36
Is that a movie reference?
lilsawty2 8
She sounds awesome.
StrugsNotDrugs 19
She sounds like a delightful woman....