Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I started a new job that was highly recommended by a worker there. The same coworker that is now making my life a living hell. FML
Today, I started a new job. The synopsis of my training was, "You're starting a job you're going to hate and you'll be fired for entertaining yourself while waiting for us to give you more work. But you're going to love being here." FML
Today, my first day at the job, I went up to my coworker and began to ask her name. She cut me off and snapped, “I have a name.” FML
Today, the girl who tormented my life for nine years was hired at my part-time job. We're assigned to work together on a three-month-long project which will involve tons of communication. FML
Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML
Today, I got a new job. This would've been a good thing, but apparently, the person I'm replacing was very well-liked around my workplace. All of my co-workers hate me now for replacing someone who I don't even know. FML
Today, I started my new job at a small business. I was pretty excited to finally be working, until I found out the big boss is a creeper and sees no problem making comments such as "You're way more interesting than the rest of these slope-eyed fucks." FML
Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "Mom" while at work. FML
Today, I found out my ex is applying for a job at my current company. She may become my boss. FML
Today, I started a new job. After being trained on several obscure computer programs I'm expected to use in just one day, my new boss informed me she's going on a week long vacation starting tomorrow. She's the only other person who knows how this program runs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
asleepingbear 8
Illuminati?
TwitchingNebula 17
At least you don't have to wonder who the office nut is anymore.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (132)
rachel135792468 5
That's creepy
paramor3 23
Be AFRAID, very AFRAID! I would make every day a "take your gun to work day" haha! Beware of the all seeing eye
BrashlyHonest20 4
She may just be messing with you. I can the humor if she is. And if she isn't joking... How did she get hired?
sugoine 12
Ahhh, the delusional sounds of paranoid schizophrenia....
Xanathador 5
you shoulda looked her in the eye and said "You will never know my secret". pause for a second, and then run for the door.
stepenie 2
I just want to share my experience and testimony here.. I was married for 6 years to my husband and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture.. he started hailing me and he was abusive..but I still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all cost? then he filed for divorce..my whole life was turning apart and I didn't know what to do..he moved out of the house and abandoned the kids.. so someone told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell caster? so I decided to try it reluctantly..although I didn't believe in all those things? then when he did the special prayers and spell, after 2days, my husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn't believe it.. anyways we are back together now and we are happy..in case anyone needs this man, his email address [email protected], his spells is for a better life. again his email is [email protected].
TheVirtousKnight 4
It sounds more like a joke...
Krissey_DJ 16
You have no sense of humor I would love to work with people who were that fun
mkcherry 14
My first thought was schizophrenia. People with mental illnesses can be high functioning enough to hold down a job. Ask another coworker if you were pranked or if she's sick. Our neighbor used to say things like that and photograph everyone in the neighborhood. Super scary.
P0tat03 8
I will find you and I will kill you