Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple of seconds later and played video games instead. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
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Top comments
alex_vik 1
LOL, that's a first. I wonder what it said.. 1. Finger her. 2. Put on condom 3. Insert penis 4. ???? 5. Profit!
Katylolo 0
Okay, that's actually pretty sweet. I mean, he was so worried about doing everything just right for you that he didn't want his nerves to get in the way and forget what he was doing. But maybe this means you guys are a little too young to be doing this? At least be safe, use condoms.
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Comments (260)
RealMC 0
Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George wrote crib notes for Jerry's special technique.
dan81892 2
hahaha, why would you need to write that down? 1. take hold of penis 2. put penis in ****** 3. pump 4. ???? 5. PROFIT!
babelini 12
why do i feel its fake?
aja33 2
LOL:) THATS CUTE!!!!
Alaskabear 0
Thats funny. Hes adorable. ^^
c3ns0r3dn4m3 0
roflrofl at #1 and #17
tamieka93 0
if you guys are having sex, then why the **** is he wearing pants?
Davstar 0
Poor guy
the_crazyone 0
Okay.. First off. For all you girls who say this is "actually really cute" Shut the ef up.. If a guy did this to you you'd probably react the same way this chick is acting And secondly, there's no excuse for this. What is he, retarded? Does he really not know what to do in sex? It's not that hard...
Oishi_fml 0
Err...If it's not that hard, isn't something horribly wrong?
OOHMY 0
awe, thats cute. so nervous.