Today, I went on a first date at an Italian restaurant. I was leaning in as my date told a story when my fork snapped a meatball in half. The sauce launched across the table and landed directly on his shirt, meat red against crisp white. I spent the rest of the meal staring at the stain, so I'm not sure there will be a date two. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML
Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML
Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML
Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML
Today, while at a restaurant on a date, I spilled red wine on the white tablecloth. The waiter came over with a new one, saying, "Don't worry, it's not the first time someone's spilled wine here." My date leaned over and whispered, "It's the first time someone's spilled it on me, though." FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said "You're having salad." FML
Today, I went on my first date in months. It was going well until the waiter brought our drinks. I went to take a sip of my cocktail, but I misjudged the size of the glass and the stupid paper straw, and spilled it all over myself. The waiter said, “Well, at least it’s not a first date curse,” and I replied, “Oh, it definitely is.” It was, because I doubt I'll be seeing her again. FML
Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend when he suddenly got down on one knee and proposed. A waiter tripped over him and spilled our food all over him. FML
Today, I was on a first date at high-end Indian restaurant. I tried to impress my date by ordering the spiciest dish on the menu, only to find out it was way too hot for me to handle. I ruined the entire meal by coughing, choking, and drinking five gallons of water with tears streaming down my face for at least 40 minutes. FML
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Top comments
thinman12345 17
Shit happens, it’s not like you laughed while the crescent meatball was flying.
poopface82 25
Either there won’t be a second date or you’ll marry him.
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Comments (4)
thinman12345 17
Shit happens, it’s not like you laughed while the crescent meatball was flying.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
That's a messy meat-a-ball!
poopface82 25
Either there won’t be a second date or you’ll marry him.
AstroTurf Matador_602345635 10
Wow. How hard was that meatball that it snapped in half?