Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple of seconds later and played video games instead. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
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Top comments
alex_vik 1
LOL, that's a first. I wonder what it said.. 1. Finger her. 2. Put on condom 3. Insert penis 4. ???? 5. Profit!
Katylolo 0
Okay, that's actually pretty sweet. I mean, he was so worried about doing everything just right for you that he didn't want his nerves to get in the way and forget what he was doing. But maybe this means you guys are a little too young to be doing this? At least be safe, use condoms.
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Comments (260)
Alastrina_fml 20
OMG. This is why everybody's first time should be with someone more experienced.
iwadasn 33
It sounds like you two are way too young to be having sex.
UnjustifiedClaim 15
"What comes after this again? ... Oh, I come after this!"
unscripted04 7
The fact that he had pockets says you're doing something wrong.
Chigal88 16
You at least gotta give him props for trying so hard :)
thatsdndn1 19
Hahahahahaha lol!! Omg i cant stop laughing!
hiLARIUS 11
That honestly sounds like something my bf would do lol
igneed 10
Look I could see why that stinks but at the same time it was his first time he was probably nervous
kritical_kitsune 4
Awww lol XD
ProgMetalMan 8
"This isn't the SATs!" -George Costanza