Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet when a dude broke into my stall, screamed, "No time to explain!" and ran out with a toilet paper roll. FML
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Ithildyn 5
I never imagined "emergency rapping" would be a skill one would need to keep safe in life.... I stand corrected.
ironwords 8
Still better then Kesha
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (132)
desireev 18
Slob on my knob.. Like corn on the cob.. Check in with me.. And do your job.. Lol! It's a veeerrrry nasty song! FYL for sure, OP! I get embarrassed even listening to the song! I can't imagine having to rap it to save my life!
Swiftly 0
Lay on the bed, and give me head. Don't have to ask, don't have to beg.
Ali_Br_fml 33
Wow, he had you rap while taking a dump...in a public toilet... Um... why the hell is some guy in another stall trying to make you rap with him as you take a dump??? Drunk or not... that's creepy.
boomhauer18 3
Cool story bro
laden_swallow09 35
This be the time when you have your piece and cap a fool. That is straight up, Gee. See? I understand rap; I speak Jive.
pandm101 0
Your response should have been "yo no hablo ingles."
blegehlehgleh 0
Rapping on the toilet? Dubstep already did it
TheLoneWandererX 2
No rapping on the toilet puts dubstep to shame Tis right bitch shit just got REAL
erl1996_fml 6
Peer pressure...
heyyy464 1
Sittin on tha toilet!
KRS_13 0
Now flush!
efro4472 1
I hate that video
OHai15 12
slob on my knob like corn on the cob check in with me and come do ur job ;)
desireev 18
"...Check in with me.. And do your job..." Not "and come do your job.."
TunechiXXL 0
46 - for someone who self proclaims they are "too embarrassed" to even listen to this song, you know it preeety wellllll.....
desireev 18
Yeah.. That's because I was 14 at one point. Is that not allowed?
TunechiXXL 0
Is that this year? Because you look like a 14 year old......
desireev 18
Oh man, you're cool! I'll appreciate that when I'm 40! Although, your comment makes me wonder if you can read..
OHai15 12
ohh thanks, not like it mattered but, thanks -___-
arvale8802 1
Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Funniest fml ever. Dude sux for you. I hope no one else was in the bathroom. That woulda been even more embarrassing