Today, I finally got together with this great guy I've had a crush on for a while. He told me before that he is quite inexperienced, which usually doesn't bother me at all. Turns out "inexperienced" translates to "I will include your nose and chin in our kissing" in this case. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML
Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML
Today, I made out with the guy I've had a huge crush on for the first time. He wrapped his arms around me, and whispered softly into my ear, "I can't wait to bone you." FML
Today, the man of my dreams turned out to be the worst kisser I've ever encountered. I now have a huge hickey on my chin to remember the experience by. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I'd had a crush on for a long time. When I asked if he was having trouble putting it in, he answered that he was fully in. FML
Today, I found out that the person I'm seeing is a terrible kisser. I really like them, but it's awful. FML
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
Today, I finally had an opportunity to flirt with the guy I have a crush on. We danced together all night and everything was going well… too well apparently, because out of nowhere, he kissed my sister, who knew about my crush on him but still kissed him back. FML
Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Do you have a crush on a puppy, by chance?
SOILEDIT 51
Well, at least he's into you AND he didn't bite your face off!
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Comments (41)
Catdragon 40
we all start somewhere. you can't blame him for not knowing what to do. all you can do is deal with teaching him how. it's not a lost cause just yet so don't give up hope!
timakramer 14
*Giggles uncontrollably*
alex_jaguara 33
Reminds me of that one kissing scene from Hotshots: - Kiss me like never before! - *eats nose
Frinny 12
Nom Nom method usually helps! By mouthing Nom/Om while kissing usually helps. That's how I taught my boyfriend how to kiss, he was inexperienced as well :-) he'll get better, just give him a little bit of time to adjust to it
elliespaghetti 3
Lol, literally a plot point in an Ep of bobs burgers. Your life is a cartoon!
Amilli5514 2
Could be worse I suppose