Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML
Today, I was going on my first date. I was planning my outfit with my mom when my dad offered his advice. “That boy won’t care what outfit you’re wearing, just make sure you wear sexy underwear and carry a condom, guaranteed first date success. That’s how me and your mom got married, you know?” FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
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Top comments
shan789mudge 0
aww haha poor guy! =P
happy_me 0
awww poor guy :( fhl i hope you dont judge him for that only. I'd be ******** my pants too
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Comments (407)
criispy_yo 1
anyoanyone who thinks cop/parents r too over protective, thats not true. my father's in the army and is a detctive and my mothers K9 cop. although my father jokes about doing that, he doesn't, he greets my date formally and respectfully. dont ****** steriotype when u don't no what ur talking about. #334 STFU
Gingy_fml 0
I don't think i would cry. Be scared shit less maybe a couple of shakes. Maybe he had a Bad experience with a gun? Parents got shot or something?
MyLifeIsSuper 0
Might have Aspergers maybe. I'd cry.
Kindofslow 0
And what does Aspergers have to do with this? Maybe he cried because he was scared that if he did anything to his girlfriend her dad would kill him.
yaktazuki 0
I can't really blame him for doing that. That would have scared me shitless!
yaktazuki 0
Sounds like you live in the south and that your family is a bunch of rednecks. If so, YDI
Andyangels27 0
pussy he's not going too kill you he's a cop and knows the consequences
Honda288 2
Haha just like what Charlie from twilight did. LOL
happyhak 5
LMAO! UR DAD IS OWNAGE! THATS CLASS! But seriously...FYL
LiLJavi45 0
I wouldn't ******* cry I'd just dump the bitch
Secret_Fire_King 0
"Oh.. No worries, Sir.. We've had enough of that today.. She had to give me a blow-job, just to get me over here".. XD