Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML
Today, I tried to vacuum to surprise my mom with a clean house. The vacuum started shorting out, sparked, and then burst into flames mid living room. FML
Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML
Today, I set out to clean the house while my wife was at work. Starting with the vacuum cleaner, it suddenly started making a strange noise and emitting a burning smell. Panicking, I unplugged it and noticed one of our toddler's socks had been sucked into it, causing it to overheat. I managed to extract the sock, but now our expensive vacuum cleaner is toast. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML
Today, I came home to find my younger daughter left her silly band collection on the carpet in front of the fireplace. I now have melted unicorns and princesses stuck in my carpet. FML
Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML
Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML
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Top comments
csigabajnok 0
OMG, that's so dumb
Emkaye 0
My mom did the same blasted thing, except we had a central vacuum, which ended up setting our basement on fire. The house smelled like soot for the next two months.
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Comments (47)
truehitman2010 0
omg she is a retarted blonde nvm all blondes are that stupid
ams2643 2
what were you doing while she was doing this? i hope you weren't just watching it happen
MaryPoppins88 14
bahaha your girlfriend must be blonde:p
mandy248 0
is she blonde?
effarve 2
shes not what you would call smart is she?
Ethananan 0
She's a keeper
Allyyboo 0
Damn, and here I thought women were supposed to be good at cleaning.
newburton13 26
You know, some kids in my state killed themselves and their grandparents on Christmas Eve because they put the fire embers in a paper bag so it "wouldn't interfere with Santa coming down the chimney". It burned down the whole house. You really shouldn't let her touch the fireplace if she's stupid or impatient enough to not wait until the fire's completely and utterly out.
blacky_2222 3
I bet you have a really hot blonde girlfriend
ppl2ppl 4
Ok, will everyone stop telling this guy to dump his girlfriend? I mean yeah, she kinda made a big mistake but she was only trying to help OP out and maybe she thought that sucking up the embers with the vacuum would be easier and less messy. She is human and, as we ALL do, we make mistakes, especially dumb ones. Do you honestly believe that she deserves to get broken up with just because she made a mistake? If so, the people who believe that are just heartless cyber bullies and need to get over themselves because you will end up very alone if you break up with someone for each mistake that they made. So good day :P