Today, some muscle-head showed up at my house and started beating on me. Turned out my son had been posing online as a Navy SEAL, using a picture of me, and had dared this guy to come over and fight him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML
Today, I came home to my son crying and packing a bag, with his laptop smashed on the floor. He said he needed to run away because a "crazy military guy" was coming to kill him. I logged in to his account and found that someone had sent him the Navy SEAL copypasta. He's 16. FML
Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML
Today, I attempted to threaten my daughter's boyfriend to keep him from breaking her heart. I'm a 230-pound former soldier. He's a karate black belt. My family watched me get beat up by a 120-pound teenager. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, my son is having housing issues, so I let him stay at my place for a while. Today, he found out that the quiet, dorky-looking professor who lives next door is an MMA fighter. He tried to break into the guy's house in the middle of the night and is now in the hospital. FML
Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML
Today, I found out why my son has been working out and taking martial arts classes. It was so he could beat his stepbrother up and put him in the hospital, as revenge for stealing his secret cash supply, over £4000. I'm too old and too tired for this. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
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Top comments
igg125 30
Stolen valor, I am at a loss for words. Why would anyone lie about military service. And if you do lie about it don't pick a fight with a SEAL.
GhostFox 34
Punish your son, and press charges against said muscle head. Seriously, press charges. Someone that rage-prone does not need to walk unpunished. Even putting aside that he did it under the assumption you were employed by the USA Military.
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Comments (94)
rgetting 24
LE officers hear this kind of talk all the time. Many of them read a book or heard a story and adapt it as their own. Many were not evan in the service. All of them claim special forces status. Actual special forces people in the armed forces are actually very rare. My son was in Marine Recon. He'll tell you only that he was infantry. Most special forces are like that. They have nothing to prove so why tell you their story. They don't need you to validate their lives.
ViviMage 40
He attacked you. That is assault. Press charges and get a restraining order. Sue for injury if you want. Also, take the son's stuff away. He thought talking smack posing as you is ok? What if he paralyzed or killed you in a rage fist punch? This is something the kid will stop, now. Take away all this internet capable devices like a phone/laptop/etc. Password protect all devices, Internet, etc, and place passwords in the kids own stuff. And make sure he is NOT authorized to talk to the cable company. I work at a cable company, trust me.
benedictjongoh 10
I hope you beat the life out of your kid
Schmavid64 13
I hope you have a serious conversation with your son about the consequences of his actions. He will need to be punished for this as I hope he learns how serious this was. I hope you were ok OP and that the police did catch this man.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Revoke your son's internet privileges.
Leauge 13
I hope to god you beat the shit out of your son.
joelp232 17
why would your son give him your address...thats like rule #1
Brandi_Faith 34
Not only does your son need to be punished but he obviously needs a good talk on safety while using the Internet. He clearly has no idea how dangerous it is to give out personal information and his address, and needs a serious lesson on it all and the severity of it. That guy is obviously crazy to drive to some random guys house (thinking he's a seal) just to try and beat the crap out of him, so it's not too far to think he could be even crazier and could've had a gun or knife or something and killed you. I would take away his electronic devices and Internet access (change the wifi password if needed), teach him about safety on the Internet, then slowly give him back some time on the Internet while putting parental controls on, and inform your son that you are allowed to go and check his devices and see what he's been doing until he's proved that he's mature enough to use the Internet properly. In my opinion parents should be doing that anyways when a child, pre-teen first gets a device. Parents should be monitoring their Internet use and access until they prove they are able to use the Internet properly. I would also be shutting down the Internet at night as there's no reason for kids to be on it past their bedtime.
Spongegirlcs 17
What #52 said.
ragnarok1540 39
Maybe you should try one of those creative punishments and make your son wear a sign saying that he got his dad beat up ... on second though that is probably more embarrassing for you. It's probably best to stick with the conventional ass whooping!
Schmavid64 13
If he beats his son then that is no lesson. If violence begets violence than he will never learn. Taking things away from his son, grounding him and having a long conversation about this type of behaviour is far more important.
ezrajab 22
It's one thing to play a video game it's another thing entirely to do something like that FYL and have a serious talk with him.
oceanbrickfire 21
Press charges against the guy who attacked you, and take away your son's technology, and punish him with other things.