Today, my rather large boss told me how the company needs to save money, how we are going downhill fast, even suggesting that we might go bankrupt very soon. He then went on to ask me to go get him some very expensive scotch using the company credit card to, "help him cope with the stress." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my bosses were boasting about their work-funded retreat, including the $1,800 bottle of wine the company paid for. This would be fine if they hadn't just told me there are no funds to pay me for the work they've got me doing. We are also the biggest company in our industry. FML
Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML
Today, on my way to work I stopped at a winery and spent around $120 on 2 bottles of wine for my boss, since it was his birthday. When I gave him the gift, in exchange he let me know I am being laid off - his consolation was "if you can afford this wine I'm sure you'll be OK". FML
Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML
Today, my boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out, because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant with my boss, trying to make a good impression. I ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, only to later realize I'd forgotten my wallet. My boss had to pay for the meal, and I'm wondering if my job in accounting is now on the line. FML
Today, my boss bragged to a coworker, in front of me, about how much money he saved on a project because he majorly underpays me. My boss is my dad. FML
Today, via a situation too complicated to explain, I accidentally cost my boss almost 50,000, on the same day his wife asked for a divorce and his dog died. I’m almost too scared to tell him how I screwed up, in case it sends him completely off the deep end. FML
Today, my boss reprimanded me for a huge screw-up that he was responsible for. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
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Top comments
bartsj88 6
I'm confused as to how describing your boss as "rather large" had any relevance to this FML.
vimelo 8
What does his size have to do with the rest of the story?
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Comments (25)
chirstinap325 23
I feel as if I have seen this exact story before....
chirstinap325 23
Wait I moderate stories sometimes lmao
bartsj88 6
I'm confused as to how describing your boss as "rather large" had any relevance to this FML.
socialproduct 19
Obviously because there is a direct correlation between a person's size and the quality of their scotch. I thought everyone knew.
stevenJB 25
I'm thinking since OP referenced the company card that maybe the boss uses the card to gorge himself often??
bartsj88 6
That's it #8! I can't believe I missed that obvious and direct implication. Thank you!
katachristic 19
I think the implication is that OP might be afraid to confront the boss because of their size?
knuckleheadknock 26
Hi #14. In reply to your comment, there is no point in trying to tell him not to drink, because he will get his hands on it some other way and it will make working with him in the future even more difficult as he easily gets offended and then holds grudges.
vimelo 8
What does his size have to do with the rest of the story?
trollcrusher 17
It's probably to imply that the boss frequently treats himself to liquor, fine foods, or other luxuries that the company shouldn't be paying for. Possibly meant to be interpreted the old-fashioned way, when being fat meant you were living the good life and eating your fill... except now, the boss isn't living the good life or helping his company with irrational expenses. That's my interpretation of it, anyway.
AirBusDriver 23
Doesn't matter, had Scotch.
RichardPencil 32
Make sure you get yourself some tequila and vodka. By the time he figures it out, your business will have been shuttered.
GhostFox 34
If he has a superior and isn't the absolute top of the hierarchy, I suggest taking this up with whoever above him, because that sounds like... Embezzlement? Theft? I'm not sure of the exact legal term, admittedly, but it sounds like something the company would be interested in knowing if there is more people than him in charge.
knuckleheadknock 26
Hi GhostFox, thanks for your comment. The boss I'm talking about is the General Manager, and one of the founders. The FML part of the whole situation is that he complains about our company not having enough money and then uses company money to buy himself something he ideally shouldn't use during work hours anyway.
tounces7 28
The general managers aren't allowed to steal from the company any more than the lowest paid helpers are. Even if he's a co-owner, he's still stealing if he's using a company credit card for that.
lilithfury 23
How does his size bare any relevance to the situation?
Bearsmomma 30
Dammit! That was supposed to be "like". Sorry.
TacoTheDank 27
Irony at its finest right there.
gilbertclarence 9
if you're going to go out, go put on top
klirrivirri 9
you should just buy what poison you prefer with the company card and get away before the shit hits the fan..