Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because, "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I told my mom that I think I'm lactose intolerant, and that I should go to the doctor to get checked out. She said that I was probably just gassy, and then ordered us a pizza for dinner. FML
Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML
Today, my family had an argument with me because I bought the wrong kind of cheese. They never said what kind they wanted. The argument ended with my mother saying that she wished she could kill herself, because of how horrible of a person I am. FML
Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, my horrible parents turned up to the restaurant I work at just to mess with me. Dad forgot his wallet, what a surprise, and asked me to pay the bill. I refused so my manager got involved. My dad got arrested, I got fired and might lose my lousy flat if I’m late on the rent. FML
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Top comments
CharismaGeek 19
Well, that's what drinking does to you. Do your best to settle the argument before things get too crazy, OP
ShadowStarEXE 35
Run. Run like hell. Let your parents sort it out on their own. They're grown ups now.
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Comments (45)
hkhan24 23
I bet he wouldn't have married her if he knew she couldn't "eat cheese"
Rainbowkupkake 11
um,my boyfriends lactose intolerant....im not just going to break it off or not marry him because of one stupid thing -_-
ChopSuey444 20
Its OP's parents. They have a child together so I'm sure he's known for a while
PotatoesAndCake 26
What's with the " in "eat cheese"? What, you think she's lying?
sweetbliss3 37
just stay out of this argument. nothing good can come of it. hopefully they get it together and if not just go back to school early.
DenBriZel 31
Hey may have... More pizza for him?
Gradask 10
Your mum should read up on lactose intolerance, she can have dairy products, that isnt THE problem. What she cant have is things lactose in it and this is something people dont understands includes in some cases snacks, crackers, candy, chicken , ham ( added for flavour in both meats) , ready made meals, cookies and a lot more . A well mature cheese has no lactose or in some cases 0.01 which only extreme cases cant have and this mean matured over 6 months and up . So she should learn to read because she cant have whey, milk sugar ( lactose), in some cases milk fat, dry milk powder in some cases, dried cheese powder ( yes added lactose in some cases) and you need to read on every thing you can eat if you can have it or not.
ebsblackwood 16
Mozzarella cheese, which is most commonly used on pizzas, had lactose in it. Trust me, I have a bite of pizza and I have to run straight to the bathroom. I think you might need to do a bit more reading up on lactose intolerance...
AKFusion 12
Kinda ironic that OP's mom lives in Wisconsin then, a state known for its cheese industry. But FYL for your folks holiday drama.
corky1992 33
Eating something else for one night won't kill her. The whole house shouldn't be punished just cuz she can't eat it.
leogachi 15
@20 That's exactly what I was thinking. Mom can't eat pizza so no one else is allowed to? **** that.
sp00derman 23
can't she just peel the cheese off?
Mathalamus 25
From... The pizza? I don't think you can.
ohSNAPyall 27
You can if it's cold, for sure.
BuckNekkid 22
does everyone have to be on your mother's diet? maybe he expected her to be responsible for herself, she didn't have to eat it.
Crimsonb312 11
You know what makes your mom even more stupid? People who are lactose intolerant can eat cheese just fine.
starcravingmad 5
Actually, no, they can't. Not unless they take lactaid pills. However, some people have varying degrees of lactose intolerance. For example, my husband can't have milk or ice cream, but can eat some cheese just fine. I, however, can't have ANY dairy (excluding butter) without becoming violently sick.
Sora_McKain 36
Not true at all. I can't have cheese without becoming ill.
vikky538 29
And now you are thinking that when this holidays gonna be over.