Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML
Today, I tried out the high-tech eliptical at my gym. The 70-year-old man next to me who was also using one went faster and longer than I did, and unlike me didn't stop for a break. FML
Today, I went to my gym and tried a new workout machine that had just been installed. I set the weight too high and ended up stuck halfway through a lift, making weird struggling noises. Most people around me stopped and stared as I awkwardly dropped the weights. FML
Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I was on the treadmill, I accidentally hit the emergency stop button. In my attempt to play it cool, I tried to pretend it was intentional and yelled, "I've reached my fitness goal for the day!" FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and tried to act like I belonged there. I used the wrong machine, adjusted something I shouldn’t have, and had to ask a teenager how to reset it. FML
Today, after I finally joined a gym, I was feeling pretty good until I attempted to use a machine I'd never seen before. After 10 minutes of awkwardly pressing random buttons and trying to figure out how it worked, the instructor walked over and asked if I needed help. I had been on the rowing machine, trying to use it as a leg press. FML
Today, I was at the gym running with intensity on the treadmill. As I was working out, I noticed a few guys behind me staring at me. I figured they were checking me out because I was losing some weight and looking better. Turns out they were betting on how much longer "Fat Ass" could last. FML
Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML
Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML
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Top comments
girlwithmoodeyes 0
maybe thats what was wrong with it? be proud of yourself anyway. :)
jerseyboy732 16
ever consider he didn't fix the machine right and the calories burned count was wrong?
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Comments (118)
louiseth 9
Maybe op is one of those people that jogs on the level one and thinks they're working out really hardcore. Crank that bitch up to level 30 or something.
Il_Maestro 6
A lot of factors go into what is considered a good fat burning workout. For example, a certain range of heart rate should be maintained if one wants to burn fat, etc. These factors are different for everyone so it is perfectly understandable if one person could have as good a workout on level 1 than someone else on level 30.
TheMikeyT 3
That's not entirely true... yes, calories burn faster at an 'optimal heart rate', but exceeding that intensity still burns more calories and fat overall, it's just a smaller effect. Also, the momentum gained at lvl1 of an elliptical practically carries the rider with almost not effort and can often be rid virtually forever crank it up!
Fonze13 0
I don't think op wants to fly most only go to 10
bryannab1 0
Different people with different body types can use different settings and still get a great workout. If you just go right to 30 and your body isn't up for that you can really hurt yourself. At least OP is making an effort to work out.
4204ever 0
How do you know he burned more then you?
challan 19
Perhaps you should go to the gym instead of toking and find out.
gurly98 13
No worries you big fat baby, crank up the machine to like level 30 and you'll be just fine
Cappiej 18
Not only is that plainy mean, you also forgot that fat people burn more calories. As it was a very intensive workout, I don't think OP is that fat.
SirCharles83 13
For fat people, walking up stairs is an "intense workout".
xHeartNintendo 1
but... everyone burns calories at a different rate...
AnimationStation 3
Props to you anyway for working your way towards your fitness goals XD
tony1891 22
No pain No gain.
mariet_fml 23
Most of those machines overestimate how many calories you burned anyway. As long as you are proud of your workout, nothing else matters.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Every time I see 'elliptical', I think of triangles. Any-*****, maybe it would help if you turned the machine ON. /joking/
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Oh come on, I said I was JOKING. Damn it.
The_Hitdude 12
You're getting thumbed down because your joke sucked, not because they thought you were serious. Suck it up and stop squealing.
memob123 0
Who says "any-*****"?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
They're are worse jokes. No biggie though. It's squeaking, by the way. I'm a chipmunk, not a pig. c:
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I do, goddamn it.
kirrra 11
anywhore sounds ridiculous,so does saying "they are are worse jokes"
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Shit, I didn't notice that.
AssassinsCRB 0
That's OK. As long as you really pushed yourself that's all that matters.
brandon3747 16
That's ok as long as your proud of yourself, no need to be sad or mad