Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML
Today, I tried out the high-tech eliptical at my gym. The 70-year-old man next to me who was also using one went faster and longer than I did, and unlike me didn't stop for a break. FML
Today, I went to my gym and tried a new workout machine that had just been installed. I set the weight too high and ended up stuck halfway through a lift, making weird struggling noises. Most people around me stopped and stared as I awkwardly dropped the weights. FML
Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I was on the treadmill, I accidentally hit the emergency stop button. In my attempt to play it cool, I tried to pretend it was intentional and yelled, "I've reached my fitness goal for the day!" FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and tried to act like I belonged there. I used the wrong machine, adjusted something I shouldn’t have, and had to ask a teenager how to reset it. FML
Today, after I finally joined a gym, I was feeling pretty good until I attempted to use a machine I'd never seen before. After 10 minutes of awkwardly pressing random buttons and trying to figure out how it worked, the instructor walked over and asked if I needed help. I had been on the rowing machine, trying to use it as a leg press. FML
Today, I was at the gym running with intensity on the treadmill. As I was working out, I noticed a few guys behind me staring at me. I figured they were checking me out because I was losing some weight and looking better. Turns out they were betting on how much longer "Fat Ass" could last. FML
Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML
Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML
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Top comments
girlwithmoodeyes 0
maybe thats what was wrong with it? be proud of yourself anyway. :)
jerseyboy732 16
ever consider he didn't fix the machine right and the calories burned count was wrong?
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Comments (118)
antart3 18
Lol. Plain and simply, lol.
Idonebeenhad 17
Baby steps
DooleyFTW 17
No need to laugh, everybody works at their own pace. Plus we don't know if OP is a new member of the gym or if they're out of shape for any reason. I know this site is for comedy but it could be demeaning if the OP reads the comments and sees people laughing. Keep up the good work OP :)
summy15423 12
It's okay. You still lost calories. Just do it again and do other workouts. Or yoga
FYLorYDIohno 12
At least you felt you had a good workout, that's what counts.
comedybreak 20
I'll be the first to say it but this is highly unlikely. No matter how you look at it. Let's say OP was on the machine for 10 minutes (I'm assuming it's more because 10 minutes of saying at the gym?). Now let's say the repairman was at 1 minute max, there's no speed that can make the repair guy catch up even if OP goes slow.
AFCA020 4
Don't worry... Maybe your machine needs fixing too...
ClassyCommando 13
If you want the machine to count your calories, you usually have to enter your age and weight into the machine. Now, there is a good chance that the maintenance man was in a hurry and clicked something random for both measurements, like "11" for age and "40 lbs" for weight, leading the machine to count calories much faster. Myth.busted?
noto_fml 0
This isn't an lol. The OP is actually out there getting in a workout. Just keep it up, don't worry about what any1 else is doing. Slowly you'll progress. You should be proud of yourself for testing yourself with an intense workout. Maybe it was designed for something other then burning calories.
SirCharles83 13
Lol how intense could the work out have been? Kudos for trying; you have to work your way up to extended work outs. But don't kid yourself OP, you've got a long way to go before workouts are "intense".
KhrystinaS 0
You make no sense
kirrra 11
69- do you know op personally? no didn't think so. so who are you to tell someone you've never met that they are "kidding themselves" about a workout being intense. whats easy going to a very fit person may well be very intense to someone not as fit. you don't know op's situation,maybe they are very unfit,or just coming out of healing from an injury,or have a condition which makes working out abit tougher for them. don't judge so quickly.
MCxFrost 1
Oh boy ..
biggestfan23 11
I got so much insight from your comment
olpally 33
Your comment wasn't very insightful either, 14(I understood the sarcasm) As for op, good for you! At least you're motivated to get into shape, unlike most of us. Keep going op! :)
DrDilllonReese 12
You'd burn calories based on how hard you worked. Therefore, OP must not have been extremely motivated if the maintenance guy burned more calories while not even working out.
SloppyFlamingo 4
Maybe the maintenance guy wanted to get a workout in?
girlwithmoodeyes 0
maybe thats what was wrong with it? be proud of yourself anyway. :)
moodyreallyrocks 27
Hey, my name is Moody!
SkoomaKi 28
#20 - That's great..... I agree with #3, at least you're making the effort to get fitter, and for that I congratulate you OP.
alexup24 13
20- Did anyone ******* ask?
XHerobrineX 4
I will bring ski masks!! Is there a bank near this liquor store? I need to make a........ withdrawal. Anyone else?
jacobboothe 2
Is there any good wifi near where you're going? I need to de-stress myself
XHerobrineX 4
Depends if there is an electronic store nearby.... If so, then yes. If not... I'd recommend a book.
Dyer18 0
That's not possible
21jason 9
One step at a time op
jerseyboy732 16
ever consider he didn't fix the machine right and the calories burned count was wrong?
LouisianaBob 9
I like to think that the maintenance man is in great shape from fixing and testing the machines all day.
brianjman14 23
Just how fat are you?
jerseyboy732 16
more like how fat was the maintenance guy.. the fatter you are the quicker you burn calories
tbenson0628 14
your an ass
The_Hitdude 12
^...And *you're an idiot for not knowing the difference between your and you're. I feel like this will go on as long as this site exists, which is a depressing thought.
brianjman14 23
What about my ass?
kirrra 11
77 that would have made sense if you had said "what about my an ass" next time try reading the comment properly before trying to be smart.
kirrra 11
oh and I forgot to say, don't be such an ass.
KiddNYC1O 22
77 could've said "What about my anass(anus)?" No? Yes.
kirrra 11
very true 101 I thought that myself, but gave it a second thought for some unknown reason
speedsk8r4evr 1
Troll. Go back under your rock and learn to be nice
derkster 6
Working hard or hardly working?
The_Hitdude 12
Become a repair man. Get paid. Get a workout. Problem solved.
GODert 8
And get horrible pay.
seriouslythat 6
21 at least he still gets paid
mrlopez 13
And not to mention the calories lost too.
doctorhook86 25
Hit the smoothie bar then come back for Round Two. Or go home. Either way.