Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere, I said, "You're my favorite!" Now I'm sitting here, talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom sent me a text that said "You're my favorite!" and I got all emotional. Then I realized she'd accidentally sent it to our family group chat. My siblings were furious, and she tried to backtrack by calling all of us her "favorites." FML
Today, in front of all my family, my grandmother said it was so funny how my brother was my mother’s favorite, while my sister was my father’s favorite. When I asked whose favorite I was, there was silence. From everyone. Including my parents. Guess I know where I’m not wanted now. FML
Today, my three-year-old told me he hates me cause I’m mean because I wouldn’t give him another cupcake. Now he is calling his grandma his new mommy. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML
Today, after my 4 year-old was so excited to be a big sister, hugging my belly every chance she got, counting down the days till the due date, my son was born this morning. She took one look at him and declared, “I don’t like him, leave him here, do we have to keep him?” then started crying. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML
Today, I was having dinner with my husband and two toddlers. My two year-old son was being incredibly cute and independently drinking water out of an open cup. I commented on how much I loved him. Two seconds later, he threw said cup with water at my head and started laughing. FML
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
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Top comments
tomilalala 0
Hahaha You should, as a parent, know that you're never allowed to say that sentence, dear
xxwilkywayxx 0
Today, I was hanging out with my mother, older brother, and my newborn baby brother. I had been feeling upset and depressed about the new baby because I felt I would be overshadowed by him and I would get no attention. My mother assured me this would not happen and I accepted it. Then she told my baby brother that he was "her favorite." My depression just increased two-fold. FML.
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Comments (230)
923927 0
smart one
madomis 0
techniacly now your writeing something one Fmylife.com.... but hey i mean well yeah.. that sucks....
tab_ga1990 0
It's a new baby, i mean i'd say it I may not mean it because i'd love all my kids but i'd still say it to my new baby, it's just part of the moment no real meaning
Indiana_fml 4
You said it because you didn't think it over. Which means you meant it.
bigrederin 0
And apparently, since you're "sitting here talking to your kids," and you're also FML-ing this as we speak, they really aren't all that important to you. Why even bother?
alexthebrit 0
you're a terrible mother. seriously. kill yourself now.
idkwtfimdoing 0
your kids are never going to forget - or forgive - that. and YDI.
omg7 0
That is messed up that you would say that...you don't ''accidentally'' say that just fyi
Professor59 2
As the non-favorite, all I can say is - don't make it a pattern. I'm putting my widowed mom into a facility that belongs on "60 Minutes".
jayme_lynn 0
i'm the youngest of three. i really am the favorite. but my parents wouldn't dare say it. they'd have figured it out whether you said it or not. :D