Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhood's garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML
Today, as I was taking the garbage out, I tripped over my own feet, causing my knee to dislocate in such a way that it shattered the back of my kneecap and fractured my femur. I guess I won't be taking the garbage out again anytime soon. FML
Today, I was taking out the garbage at work when I slipped and fell into the garbage container. The scent was so bad that a bus driver denied me a ride home. FML
Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML
Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML
Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML
Today, I was shovelling snow out of my driveway and broke my shovel. So I tried cleaning the driveway with a garbage lid. That broke too. Now I'm out snow shovel, AND a garbage lid. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML
Today, I slipped and fell on the ice while attending a community event for work. A man came to help me up, and I farted really loudly. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
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Top comments
rawr_iliketacos 0
i hate it when people don't use past tense.
Mx_Rider 6
LMFAO this fml is full of fail. from the moment you started typing to the part where you busted your damn nose :D
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Comments (130)
avrpatsfan 0
you're not first
Averizzle 0
First!! *braces for impact*
cartermc17 0
knock the ice off it first u twat
8trickster8 0
AVERIZZLE CLAIMED FIRST WHEN HE WAS NOT! I MUST INSULT HIM AT ONCE! YOU POPPYCOCK
rejectreality101 0
lol
apfunction 0
YDI for talking in the present tense.
majones 0
Karma is a bitch
zZPedobearZz 0
78 owns
AngryNinja 1
@78, notice op's country.
captainmarshall1 0
#87 shut up. not everything is "karma"
Diannaa 0
ooouuchh.. sorry to hear that OP
NOTaFmL 0
been der done dat...
konny37 0
YDI. Learn how to walk properly. Also, learn how to open a trash can lid. Idiot.
Otto12 0
how is that karma?
NegativeZ 0
#122 **** off dude. It was frozen. Not his fault. You've never used too much force to open something and it hit you?
Dixie_Normous 0
78 I was thinking the same thing
pipp360 0
nooooooooo watch out for the dumpster!
djsledgehammer 0
hah
BoarderBoy15 0
wow what a cluts
iSitt 0
send that to mythbusters
maskedman 9
you mean nose-busters.
WordsOfHope 0
lawl
unplugged_fml 0
how is that a myth?
brii1255 0
@9: lol wtf @16: i totally agree
juscreablu 0
that's a huge fail, lol
jbond98 0
GRAMMAR NAZI!!!
cdogbeastman 0
that sucks
cdogbeastman 0
BEAST-MODE [ON] OFF
unplugged_fml 0
ahhhhh that sucks
Touche 0
Every professional trash-thrower knows to slam the edge of the lid instead of keep pulling the lid!
cdogbeastman 0
win
Bookhaki 0
You should've just left your garbage or your dead hooker on top of the dumpster. FYL
XDNurse 0
really sorry OP.... fyl. but I did laugh, you were working real hard to put out ur trash poor thing.
rawr_iliketacos 0
i hate it when people don't use past tense.
ImaginaryFoe 1
I thought the same thing until I saw OP is from Norway. I assume English is not his first language.
Fop 6
I'm from Norway and I don't mess up tenses. Norwegian and English are so similar that there's really no excuse to not speak fluent English if you're Norwegian.
lickmyjock 0
op needs to invest in a helmet
carolinebeast 0
snickerdoodles needs to invest in a life. just sayin(:
lickmyjock 0
leave snickerdoodles alone, I think she's kinda cute.
Ajjas013 6
A helmet for his nose?
f_alltheirlives 3
What the hell, Norwegian and English are not at all similar. I credit television for my linguistic abilities...
penflower 0
loser
ewrek 0
snickerdoodles sounds pissy all the time and has no life bitchy about all the fmls
T1A2Z3 35
I hate when they can't pick a tense and stick to it...
Mx_Rider 6
LMFAO this fml is full of fail. from the moment you started typing to the part where you busted your damn nose :D
skyshark 0
@11, the moment he started typing was after he busted his nose. Hence he couldn't type about busting his nose if he didn't know hecwas going to do it yet.
swtviolet 0
ftw
maa_rico 4
win