Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML
Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML
Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML
Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML
Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML
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Top comments
unholymasta 4
I think your dad had the right idea but shouldn't have physically assaulted your boyfriend. Hope you dumped his cheating ass.
marinus_fml 20
At least it wasn't your mum you had to bail out after hitting your boyfriend when he made a move on your dad!
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Comments (588)
musicalmaggs 0
that is f**** up.
ThisRandomChild 0
Sounds like someone's got a case of the mondays...
iRapeCats1234 0
YDI cuz you probably suck in bed
mattdm91 0
your now ex boyfriend is a ******* legend
coltsrock37 15
this story made me gag a little
dj2013 6
wtf........
jayellef 3
please top it off and tell me you live in a trailer and are appearing on Springer next week!!!
edenianthe 7
some Jerry springer shit right here. lol I'd love see this episode.
Salkadi 9
That is awesome!
JWentworth94 5
sounds like texas to me