Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML
Today, I ended up sleeping on the dirty floor because my sister didn't want to share a king size bed with me. She got up to get a drink and stepped on my face. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, my roommate invited her brother over to drink. Neither can handle their drink and her brother is a sympathy spewer. He’s not my guest but I had to clean up vomit until 4 in the morning. FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML
Today, I took a nap because I've been sick for the past week and I was exhausted. When I woke up, my hair, shirt, pillow, and bedsheets were soaked. I threw up all over myself in my sleep. FML
Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML
Today, I woke up on the floor with my feet still in the bed. I had passed out while vomiting into a bucket, since I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. The bucket had spilled all over my bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
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Top comments
harrypotter955 19
Kick her. Don't kick her out of the house. Just kick her.
Serisent 26
That's a little sickening, isn't it?
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Comments (93)
whatthefreshhell 15
It's a good thing vomit is fairly easy to wash out of your hair, but unfortunately the smell tends linger. Pro tip: use vinegar.
DocBastard 40
So she vomited after sleeping in your bed? I wonder what she smelled there that made her feel sick.
SaxophoneHero 12
OP probably went too hard on the Frebreeze can in an effort to clean up her room!
wowlolreally 12
She couldn't get to the bathroom?! Dick move
iAlissa 34
First of all, vomit is pretty uncontrollable, and it can be difficult to know when exactly it's coming. Second of all, she could've been asleep while she got sick. Maybe think of all possibilities before calling that "a dick move."
Jaxx66 21
Yeah. It's getting very mind boggling that everyone is insulting OP's cousin. People don't sit there and think 'Yeah! I'm gonna be sick tonight and puke all over my cousins room just for fun!' I think it's a dick move to attack someone for doing something they couldn't help.
ashesanddust 8
I personally agree it's a dick move. If you're not feeling well I don't see why it's so hard to at least have a garbage can by the bed so you're prepared. When I'm feeling super sick I'm smart and just sleep in the bathroom. So knowing it's a possibility and doing nothing about it is a dick move.
iAlissa 34
64, did you ever consider that fact that she could've felt fine when she went to sleep, and got sick later when she wasnt awake? Please try to look at this from all angles
ashesanddust 8
That would make sense if the fml didn't say "she wasn't feeling well last night"
illegalbeagle69 23
That would make sense but it also said "apparently"...
ashesanddust 8
73- yeah but "wasn't feeling well" is in quotation marks from which one means that it's a quote. In any case it's not a huge deal to me. I just think that it's smarter to if you're feeling ill in any way to prepare for it just in case. I've been in situations where the person felt sick but just ignored it
SaxophoneHero 12
It's perfectly acceptable to throw up on someone if you aren't feeling well!
Aryn16 14
I would've just slept on the couch.
cmayer 20
My family must be the only one that says, "Oh it's just your cousin, they can sleep on the couch."
Lichinamo 33
They are. I've been kicked to the couch so my family can have my bed multiple times.
Blackphoenix 9
I used to find puke sickening then I had a kid. They manage to get that shit everywhere.
VMM1989 5
sucks for u. next time visitors sleep on the floor.
Glitter_taco_ 10
Ambient25 25
Yes! Totally agreed.
perdix 31
Thanks to your head, she probably feels a whole lot better. You probably scored some cosmic brownie points for that :D