Today, I forgot to clean up poop before a home inspection, so the inspector questioned me on why I had dried shit sitting on a table, with flies all over it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I felt accomplished after I cleaned the whole house alone, but then I stepped backwards to admire my work and stepped into a pile of dog poop. FML
Today, after my landlord announced a "surprise" apartment inspection, I spent the entire night cleaning every room, scrubbing the oven, and organizing closets. The inspector walked in, looked around for 20 seconds, checked for a smoke detector, then left. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, I work maintenance at a warehouse store. I had to clean the men's stall because someone had pooped on the seat, the floor, and got some on the wall. When I took my break, I noticed that my fellow maintenance coworker had poop on his pants and shoes. I then realized that I just cleaned up his “mess.” FML
Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. Five minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog had shat in the exact same spot, apparently to make me look stupid. FML
Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You poop on your table? And it's so normal to you for poop to be on a table that you can forget it?
Hangryko 32
I need more information. I am so confused.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
You poop on your table? And it's so normal to you for poop to be on a table that you can forget it?
Iifa 7
What? Why poop? Did you poop and didn't clean it? Or was it a pet poop, and you went for cleaning supplies and forgot? Or you usually poop and leave it? I'm really confused, in my experience most people wipe immediately poop of themselves and in their homes out of disgust. What did I miss?...
Hangryko 32
I need more information. I am so confused.
BurnInDemonFire 39
This isn't what people usually mean when they say they leave shit lying around the house. What the ****?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
What the actual f***? We need more information... for instance, was this human shit? Animal? Why was it EVER on the table? How did you forget about it? Just... why?
JackWood 21
Sure you did
JackWood 21
Poop on a table and you forgot to clean it up? What was it that was so much more important that you forgot? In what world wouldn't an inspector question this?
Iamthebanzai22 21
Clearly the inspector is a very necessary thing in your life. I mean.. I don't think I have ever seen either a dog or a cat shit on a table. Maybe a bird? Wtf?