Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML
Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML
Today, I went to take a shower. I noticed a funky smell, but I just assumed it was from whoever had been there last. When I pulled the shower curtain back, I found out that my sister has stopped using feminine hygiene products for her period. It looked like someone had died in the bathtub. FML
Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML
Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Today, I pulled a white cloth with string on the end from my dog's mouth. I then realized I was holding my sister's used tampon. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Nah, she wasn't experimenting. Do you realize how hard it is to exfoliate your anus without proper exfoliating gloves? It's difficult. Pro-tip: Never use steel-wool.
kellyem2 20
At least you discovered this before you put them on your face, right?
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Comments (64)
chocolatefrog28 29
Umm... ouch?
TheMathMajor 26
Seriously! That sounds really painful. Buttholes are sensitive
eatinchocolate 8
wow that's uhhhh... wow
alligator729 15
I agree that you should definitely talk to her about using other people's things without permission.. And that's definitely gross.
1uw 9
I swear if anybody makes the comment
xAmybbx 22
Like the moon and the stars in the skies?
izzybd 20
I'LL BE THERE
RinkuTheHero 13
For better or worse.
Dave_Davington 34
'Til death do us part.
greeneyebeauty9 28
Well that's a shitty situation.
Bentonic 11
GODDAMMIT, 89!
TallMist 32
#89 Ya'll done ****** up...
AFCCT 7
What what
damnit1989 16
In the butt
lolfood 24
I said what what
FranklySpeaking 11
I hope OP deals with this shit before it gets out of hand.
buckdharma 38
When you said," where are my gloves,?" and she said," they're up my ass," she wasn't playing.
poulkrebs 20
Well, technically she was :-)
lolfood 24
;)
buttcramp 21
I'd let her keep that one and get yourself a new one for external use only.
babygurll19 10
I wonder, why would it be your first instinct to sniff the mysterious dark stain?
smokecloud_ 37
Wouldn't you rather that than touch it or taste it?
BootheGhost 6
Well that's a shi- *cough cough* Surely something you need to talk to her about...
Bentonic 11
Nice save.