Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML
Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML
Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML
Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out I'd grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML
Today, in a rush, I accidentally wore my sister's underwear. I'm a guy. I had gym class today. FML
Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML
Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML
Today, after cleaning my mom’s bathroom, I wiped the molding strip along the wall so it was even. A quite precariously-hung potted plant thought that reason enough to fall right on top of me, spreading dirt over the entire room as well as my hair, my sweater, and the inside of my bra. FML
Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML
Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML
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Top comments
ILoveFluttershy 3
"I swear it's not what it looks like!"
Queen_Cosmos 7
Explain what happened, she may be suspicious, but it's worth a try.
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Comments (58)
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Guys find pleasure with vacuum so I hear. Girls... I have no idea...
Queen_Cosmos 7
Explain what happened, she may be suspicious, but it's worth a try.
eeppiicc 8
Or creep her out by asking if she wants to try..
gumbo1 8
Cosmos is right
Fenthik 4
What a douche.
ilovesuju 10
i would take a shower instead of trying to vacuum it off
xStaciexLynnx 15
I wouldn't even take a shower. It's face powder. Wipe it off.
xcarxcrashx 9
87 wiping it off would make a mess all over her clothes. Simply standing up and shaking it off works!
gr8koolkat 6
72 - I believe that she was vacuuming the powder off her clothes, and if she was getting ready to go out, there would be no time to wash the clothes.
ILoveFluttershy 3
"I swear it's not what it looks like!"
Tali147 16
It definitely is.
CaramelMacchiato 13
I always find myself blurting that out when I'm watching a movie and my parents ironically burst in during a sex scene :P
megamandude455 10
She's trying to give her vag a hickey. It's definitely what it looks like
ManInTheMachine 20
84- Maybe it's just me, but a hickey on the genitalia sounds extremely painful.
ygdrassil 17
Just imagine if she were a guy.
wellnevermind 4
#88 I thought I was the only one...
Doogy700 5
88- And disgusting
SkoomaKi 28
At least you'll have a "pretty" ****** to go with your "pretty" face? Sounds like you were caking the stuff on...
FMLshark 12
How did you come to the conclusion she was caking it on? There's no hint of that anywhere here.
SkoomaKi 28
I actually do not know. One of my very stupid, jump to conclusion comments. My sincerest apologies, Shark.
FMLshark 12
You're lucky you apologized. I was feeling particularly hungry.
toenibbler 14
Nibble on some toes, it works for me.
shaylin94 9
Actually she is a he... Just pointing it out Now my question is why is a guy wearing loose powder?
CaramelMacchiato 13
71 - Erm, no "she's" not.
KingOfAmazing 9
Actually, she is a SHE. It shows the gender in the FML. So, it isn't weird for them to be putting on the powder.
wyattshack 4
Who said it was a guy
gr8koolkat 6
Who cares if it's a guy; if they wanna wear powder on their face then they can ******* go for it. Who are you to judge? Even though we all know OP is a girl, I'm just saying people should be allowed to wear what they like. Ok, I'm done with my 2 cents now, thanks.
CaramelMacchiato 13
107 - That's beside the point... We're just trying to make it clear that OP is a GIRL, because somebody stated OP was a BOY.
ebonyirony 29
Whatever it takes to keep things clean.
Spectre529 12
And what was your excuse? XD
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"I was trying to find the condom from last night." Or "I forgot the condom last night. I'm trying to suck out the sperm."
ACrump15 0
I hate when that happens. :/
olpally 33
This happens to you frequently?
Mauskau 36
Obviously this girl is constantly vacuuming her crotch, it is no longer a surprise.
thgiL 9
Pretty sure it was a joke guys...
ManInTheMachine 20
60-Pretty sure they knew it was a joke.
olpally 33
I don't know... She sounds serious... If it's a joke, We all just got played... Haha...
mmike13 2
Your hot
Mauskau 36
You mean to say you guys don't? You're missing out. Ask Doofy, but not when he's cleaning his room!
gr8koolkat 6
I think she just means she hates spilling powder on herself haha, because this happens to me too and it sucks when it does!
Calyx_fml 22
Your life sucks.
Fenthik 4
I think he was attempting a very lame pun...
enjoi200 0
nah i think u guys r just mad
Monochromicorn 0
You were just simply testing the vibrations...?
Il_Maestro 6
That sounds sketchier than if OP said absolutely nothing at all.
randii_17 11
Blowdryers have vibrations? Wtf?
beelee1988 13
97- I don't know about blow dryers. But vacuums do.
PaulB123 11
Lock the door?
ebonyirony 29
To do makeup?
genericfmluser 17
I want to know why he was puting it on honestly.
PaulB123 11
Well I suppose I wouldn't know seeing as im not one to put on makeup (I.e guy). But if this situation happened, I would lock the door to avoid this type of situation!