Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused, "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I watched a movie with my little sister. I couldn't understand a word that was said during one scene, but I figured it was in some kind of made-up language. When I commented on it later, she called me a moron and said it was Spanish. FML
Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
Today, while on vacation, my brother asked a native of the area for help. Once he got it, he thanked them with "Muchos gracias" in the best Spanish accent he could do. We're in Japan. FML
Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Today, at my mum’s birthday dinner, my brother-in-law used a Latin phrase in the wrong way. Since we all have learned Latin, I taught him the correct way until everyone facepalmed in my direction. He made a rather nice wordplay and now I’m known as the educated idiot who is too stupid to understand a simple joke. FML
Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML
Today, at the hospital, I had to tell someone he was going to die because I was the only one to speak his language. FML
Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML
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Top comments
RageWolf16 31
Sometimes I wonder how people get into college. I'm so sorry OP, your brother sounds like a moron.
collegekid2015 6
He's a special kind of stupid, isn't he?
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Comments (82)
HauntedTwilight 20
Seriously had a blonde/I need more sleep moment there for a second by thinking "Aren't everyone's parents related?"
creedfish 21
Why don't they say it in Canadian?
nellie10 14
How did he get into college?
otumboo 10
Maybe he meant ebonics instead of "black" ?
qnmt 9
Since you seem like a sane person, I don't think it's in the genes... I think your parents just dropped him on his head one too many times when he was a baby.
RastaZebra 8
Ching chong ming pong song win shin din ow wow. Ching chong!
lina21 12
The good news is apparently you got the smart and non-asinine side of the gene pool?
Masift 21
never mind that, "say it in Mexican" are you serious.....
Skyfoogle 14
No offence meant, but some people were dropped on their heads as babies whereas others were flung at walls.
turdwrangler 18
•Please exit the building in a calm and orderly fashion. •Por favor, salga del edificio en una manera calma y ordenada. (Google translate sorry if it's wrong) •SHIT'S BURNIN' GET THE **** OUT!