Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused, "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I watched a movie with my little sister. I couldn't understand a word that was said during one scene, but I figured it was in some kind of made-up language. When I commented on it later, she called me a moron and said it was Spanish. FML
Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
Today, while on vacation, my brother asked a native of the area for help. Once he got it, he thanked them with "Muchos gracias" in the best Spanish accent he could do. We're in Japan. FML
Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Today, at my mum’s birthday dinner, my brother-in-law used a Latin phrase in the wrong way. Since we all have learned Latin, I taught him the correct way until everyone facepalmed in my direction. He made a rather nice wordplay and now I’m known as the educated idiot who is too stupid to understand a simple joke. FML
Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML
Today, at the hospital, I had to tell someone he was going to die because I was the only one to speak his language. FML
Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML
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Top comments
RageWolf16 31
Sometimes I wonder how people get into college. I'm so sorry OP, your brother sounds like a moron.
collegekid2015 6
He's a special kind of stupid, isn't he?
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Comments (82)
604 11
'merica!
trellz17 19
I find it hilarious because most people say I talk "white". Like how do you talk "white" or "black"? I just use proper English.
ShadowlessSpear 21
yo mayne stop yo white folk talk
madridista14 8
I talk purple...
MissEris 27
I know that feel all too well. Sometimes it has to do with area though, cause half of those people say it cause I am from the Bay Area
kyu_Q 19
I was told I'm too technical when I tell people seent, finna, and conversate are not proper words. But the way things are going they might be added to the dictionary soon.
AloysiusWeasley 15
Sadly, I agree. Ain't nobody got time fo dat proper-like Englisss! Dis aint da classroom! It burns us.
sleepyolivia 14
Sorry to say, 64, but you are a bit too technical for correcting people on that. Chances are they know those aren't actual words, they just don't care, so you're not really presenting them with anything new and instead coming off as a snobby "I hate this generation" special snowflake. Just saying.
stupidface15 16
are you sure he was serious because thats funny
Oliok 19
Incest is best?
zombiekiller52 24
Incest is wincest
oreoeater 21
Incest is, what the **** are u talking about
rocker_chick23 27
I am going to ask my friend if she can teach me how to speak the black language. I have a feeling it will be exactly like the English language, but who knows?
AnyaS 19
He and the bones in the ribs girl should get together. Not procreate mind you, but they're made for each other.
zombiekiller52 24
Your brother is an ignorant ****. Teach him that it is called SPANISH NOT ******* MEXICAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
vesuviusse 4
Take it easy there, cap'n. Don't blow a blood vessel. The post established that he is an ignorant ****, even without rabid capitalization and excessive exclamation points.
csi_fml 19
Nothing like good brother/ sister marriage
plunkit 6
Ahem, let's see now... 'Shit's on fire, yo. Git yo ass outside.'
AloysiusWeasley 15
Yea, dat. Thanks for beating me to it, I'm surprised it took so long! xD
vikky538 29
I was just wondering what answers he will write for the questions in test. can somebody send a copy please...