Today, I picked up my cat and he went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later, a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor, who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a rubber band around my wrist for too long, and it ended up leaving faint red marks around my wrist. My mom saw them, thought they were scars, and is now convinced I'm a cutter, "like the ones I've seen on the news," and won't believe my story. FML
Today, I was rushing with the dishes when I scraped against a very sharp knife, which left a noticeable cut right down my wrist. No one believes my story that it was a freak kitchen accident, they think that I’m either an attention seeking fucknut, or crying out for help. FML
Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML
Today, I wanted to show my friends my cat’s “high-five” trick. I held out my hand, and instead of a high-five, my cat scratched and bit me instead. I yelped, and my friends burst into laughter. I had to bandage my hand, all whilst they joked about “cat training.” FML
Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML
Today, I disciplined my cat for meowing too loudly in my apartment and disturbing neighbors by picking her up by the scruff. She then proceeded to scratch the ever living crap out of my hand, now it looks like Wolverine got a hold of me. FML
Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML
Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML
Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
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Top comments
genericnickname 0
Don't just take that from people. You can use this and call it your own: "Shut the **** up. I don't care what you THINK you know. You probably don't even really care; if you did, you'd believe me when I tell you that it was the ******* cat. No. You just want to act like a big fat ******* saint so you can bask in your own self-satisfaction and tell everyone how you were nice to the lowly, pitiful cutter. Get off your God-damned pedastal and go die in a fire you sanctimonious ****."
evild 0
this has happened to me before - all my friends think I'm a cutter. Cuts went real deep and i'm permanently scarred!
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Comments (86)
sblove 0
ok yes this totally happened with me and my cat. instead of people thinking that i cut myself i jus have the fear that people will think i cut myself.
R3nesmee 0
Omg, that sucks... Including your parents? Sheesh, I'll bet they have you in therapy now.... Blegh
Vampire_princess 0
People suck. I wear a jacket alot because I'm cold natured, and people think I'm a cutter now
Tczero 0
I get that too a girl ripped my hoodie trying to take it off me because I cut I'm hand wrist an arm on glass and I got scars on my wrist and arm from Many things and to top it of I'm a metalhead
ash_flash11 1
Same frickin' think happened to me. -_- It was annoying.
yaktazuki 0
YDI for having a cat
BVBpwns9998 0
Cats>Dogs
xSceneSceneBabyx 0
some people are such stereotypical bitches.
treehuga 0
haha the opposite happened to me. i purposley cut my arm and when people asked me i said my cat got pissed.
LexxyLiime 0
Uh... okay? why?
nyleika 0
My god same here! I love my cat, and i pet him all the time, but he has this thing where he'll recieve attention for awhile, then go all psyco-cat on me and shred my arms ! I have so many scars from that cat, and everyone calls me "emo"
twitchtail 21
Omg same!!
Lawzen_Rainbow 7
oi. stop saying its an "emo" thing. its a real issue to cut. emo is a style idiot
RickyMichelle 7
Exactly. The people that are saying that it's an emo thing obviously don't have a clue what emo means.
XBCX96 4
YDI for owning a cat. get a dog next time
koolkat27 13
dogs are gross and they smell like shit.
koolkat27 13
dogs are gross and they smell like shit.
pancakebunny 19
#30 lol