Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of two years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year-old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML
Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML
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Top comments
YOUNGSMUTTY 0
That's sad. I hope your grandma's alright! You're such a sweet boy for going home to help her. I'll take your virginity ;) Haha jk.
shortandloud 0
That sucks about not getting sex but I have to say that the whole getting stuck between the bowl and the wall is pretty hilarious.
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Comments (360)
AK 2
You sound like a young kid, so you still have a lot of time left. Good for you for helping Grandma in a time of need; there's been a lack of good-natured kids lately in FMLs.
yourfacelb 0
dude that blows.. poor grandma though, she could have been there all day if your sis hadn't been home to call you over.. but ya FYL
greenyme 0
youll remember this how instead of having sex with your gf you had to go rescue your grandma!! lol.. and FYL.. and F your grandma's life
poison29 0
#1, quit being an asshole.
24788 7
Family comes first That was really bad timing though.
omglyktotally78 0
Your last sentance kind of killed all hope for me believing ths FML.
Seti_fml 0
I think there's an important question people are missing... Why did you answer the phone when you're about to get laid? I assume you wouldn't have known it was urgent, most people would just ignore it in that situation (I know I would)
I_Bite 22
If it was a home phone then he probably would have thought it's important. He also probably didn't want his parents/family knowing what he was up to
Nebones 0
hahahaha
jd254 2
what #28 said. u picked up the phone? ydi!
eme102 0
she most likely called more then one time.
fuckyourlife8 0
**** your life for having to go rescue her at the worst time. **** your grandma's life for falling off the toilet and having to be rescued, that would've been embarrassing for her. And **** your life for waiting two years in the first place. I don't see whats so bad about answering the phone since he wasn't inside her. If he was actually doing her and answered it, then it would have been messed up.