Today, my drunk boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to light a firework in the back seat of my car while we were driving down the interstate. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML
Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML
Today, my car broke down. My boyfriend, who is not too handy, insisted on fixing it. He called me outside and said he was done and started the engine. Moments after rejoicing, it burst into flames. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend drive my car, knowing that he doesn't have a license. While he was out, he ran a stop sign, collided with another vehicle, and then left the scene of the accident. Then he lied to me about how the accident happened so I "wouldn't be so upset." FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML
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Top comments
butterfly141989 0
you should have kicked his a** to the curb (literally and figuratively speaking)
rmujerita 0
i hope u made him walk after that
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Comments (109)
allylovesbrody 0
haha, good fml. Simple and to the point. Makes it more funny when it isnt a long exagerated story. lol
jjman1221 0
I agree last night I got to drunk to even think about fireworks beerpong ftw
jjman1221 0
oh and your boyfriends a badass
Avenging_Angel 0
My mom got hit in the boob last night with a firework! Lmao But seriously, you didn't look back there occasionally to see what he was doing? You know what he is like when he is drunk.
noname_0000 0
i dont see whats wrong here this seems like a good idea to me....
Chocolate2991 0
Well that's pretty scary...
jdawg777 0
That hilarious. Weve had some funny fmls today
teek_fml 0
That's what you get for dating someone so dumb. Choose better next time.
bibbleboy 0
y do u even have fireworks in your car
ohthatsucks 0
maybe because they bought them? and were gonna shoot them off somewhere. seriously what kind of idiot asks this?
haxromana 2
Go Virginia! Represent! Seriously, it's boring here. Let him have his stupid, illegal fun.