Today, my drunk boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to light a firework in the back seat of my car while we were driving down the interstate. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML
Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML
Today, my car broke down. My boyfriend, who is not too handy, insisted on fixing it. He called me outside and said he was done and started the engine. Moments after rejoicing, it burst into flames. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend drive my car, knowing that he doesn't have a license. While he was out, he ran a stop sign, collided with another vehicle, and then left the scene of the accident. Then he lied to me about how the accident happened so I "wouldn't be so upset." FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML
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Top comments
butterfly141989 0
you should have kicked his a** to the curb (literally and figuratively speaking)
rmujerita 0
i hope u made him walk after that
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Comments (109)
lesp 6
I never thought of that before. . . GREAT IDEA! Except I think I'll light and toss.
rauj13 0
He was right, it was a good idea.
GregAvery 0
I was in a bar recently where another mentally "gifted" idiot did the same thing. I probably wouldn't have believed this FML before that. So glad you didn't crash, now throw him out with the trash!!
Mr_Robotron 0
What a champion
proud_liberal 0
he is an alcoholic. report him to the police before he rapes you. trust me girl.
fullcarbon54 0
Just because he got drunk once and on a holiday where there are lots of parties doesn't mean he's an alcoholic. And it definitely doesn't mean he gonna rape anyone.
xEmGai 0
Haha @ 4th of July stories
Shyman4ever 0
Wow I bet that was loud
_musical_addict_ 0
Holy shit, hope nothing exploded too bad... Wow that sucks so much, kick his ass outta the car for that
ryansims 0
I don't play with fireworks anymore they get me in a a lot of trouble
iceman48_fml 0
Lmao, funniest FML i've read in a long time. your boyfriend is a champ. =)