Today, my mother tried to tell me that nicotine is the only substance that ensures weight loss, and that nicotine has been passed down in our family for over 5 generations of heavy smoking relatives. Then she encouraged me to start smoking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my mom, who quit smoking years ago, saying that I am the only person who stresses her out badly enough to want to smoke a cigarette. I have never once tried to stress her out, and in fact I do everything I can to make her life easier. She works in retail. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML
Today, my wife has quit nicotine. As expected, she's put on some weight, but it's all gone to her butt, boobs, and hips. She looks better than ever, easily 5 years younger, but she's so upset about the weight gain that she refuses to let me touch her, and she wears baggy clothes 24/7 now. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, my uncle gave me a lecture on how I eat too much "unhealthy" junk food, and that it can be very harmful for me. All the while smoking a cigarette. FML
Today, my parents have smoked for most of their lives and are both healthy as horses. Meanwhile, I smoked for two years, then went through hell quitting, and just had my first asthma attack and was lectured about "long term effects of tobacco, even after cessation." THIS IS BULLSHIT! FML
Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that secondhand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML
Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "After I eat" or maybe even "When I'm tired." What I got was "Every second since you were born." FML
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML
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Top comments
OrgasmicBunnies 9
thats pretty stupid.... I think she needs help.
badmandilon 19
She loves you to death!
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Comments (214)
YacL 15
She'd rather been skinny with cancer than big and healthy? Talk about self-sacrifice. Don't follow in her footsteps when it comes to your weight, OP.
AwesomeNinjazz 3
big people are not always healthy!
sourgirl101 29
True, but sometimes neither are bone thin. Just saying.(:
ugliness 6
I'm overweight and happy with it :D I have to admit being too skinny is a much more serious health concern :/ unless you get so big you can't move then it's pretty equal
thisdue1775 0
whoaa what's up with your picture?
shaniecerb 0
no no..im pretty sure there are more overweight-related deaths than underweight
a_nutritionist 10
oh being skinny is a much more serious health concern is it? well, alert everyone, turns out youre one up on the rest of the health community. here we thought they were both pretty bad, but youve solved that one for us.
ReynshineCutting 10
They're equally as bad. Personally I'd rather be 10lbs overweight than a stick any day. Yuck.
gandhislayer 6
Based off of my thorough knowledge of anatomy, there are health risks to being too skinny, such as broken bones the next time 72 sits on you.
sourgirl101 29
"Only the dogs like the bones". (: I'm my perfect weight according to the charts but wouldn't mind being a couple pounds lighter. It's the last few pounds that are the hardest to shed even though I exercise like a demon!!
shaniecerb 0
id rather be underweight than overweight..not hella underweight tho.i am underweight tho.but im fine with how i am now.im so agile and can get into weird positions and i can slide through dense crowds
N3v43h 0
Most of us are killing ourselves in one way or another. or several.
MurphyS94 4
People should just be happy with their body :b a drastic change in weight can require changing your whole lifestyle...I'd never have the will power to do that, so I just choose to be fine with my physique.
sarcasticbitch 7
@72 im sorry to tell you that but being fat is worse than having a cancer. Firstly, the appearance (I have been skinny all my life, therefore, I can say that) and squeezing skinny people on the bus because the fat rolls cannot fit onto one chair. Secondly, high blood pressure, increase cholesterol and increased odds of diabetes. Therefore, skinny people win against fat people. Being skinny is not hard, I eat everything I want however, I practice on daily basis. Sorry if this is offensive, however, it is the truth.
smurfsarwales 9
haha win^^
OhLohd111 11
SarcasticBitch, sometimes it really is hard for people to lose weight. The diet supplement industry would not be as successful as it is if that weren't the case. There are many people who suffer from health problems before putting on the weight that hinders them from the ability to excersise. My dad for instance. He got shot and the bullet bounced off a crapload of his internal organs. he can still lead a fairly normal life, but exercise is difficult and can become painful. Things aren't always so black-and-white. Sometimes the best thing we can do is accept others for who they are, and not be so obsessed with shallow and immature things like image.
Eiregal 7
i agree, i am overweight but do over an hours excersize a day and have a small apitite but it just wont shift
darkangel4700 0
I'm over weight :( I don't look like I weight as much as I do but I working on it :) and defiantly would rather be over weight 40 pounds (like I am) then anorexic
the_easter_bunny 1
152 - Good for you. A lot of people might be happier if they had your same attitude..
Blueglasscup 18
I'm somewhat underweight but I can't help it. I eat A LOT but I just have a high metabolism.
fthku 13
"being fat is worse than having a cancer" Are you a moron? Go bang your head against the wall and think about what you said.
barlessprison 16
I don't think nicotine is the only thing she's smoking.
TheRealLori 0
On the upside, she'll die and prove herself wrong, setting the proper example. And please don't smoke. It really will kill you.
omfg_creepers 8
crack kills
A7X_LoVeee 10
Wtf is up with these odd stories in Texas?
AwesomeNinjazz 3
Texas is an odd place
ReynshineCutting 10
I think it's because there are more of us Texans to submit FMLs. Or the mods are having fun changing all the locations lol.
steveakafranxy 7
why is it always Alan? who are the other mods?
6sick6 4
"Keep Austin Weird" Saw this on a T-shirt, thought it was awesome.
sourgirl101 29
I hope you know better. You mom seems like a lost cause.
6sick6 4
Your* Sorry but I can't help it :(
6sick6 4
By the way, SourGirl, are you going to Mayhem Festival? I think it's going to be amazing :D
all4pooh 4
Uhhh...
perdix 31
Cocaine also works. Both are nice, easy substitutes for self-discipline.
mom2pen 4
don't forget meth, you just have to give up your teeth, hair, skin, but you will be way thin
a_nutritionist 10
has everyone forgotten good old fashioned purging? its quick, cheap and easy. all the taste, none of the calories, how do you lose?
alex1432 9
I like just taking a knife and cut the fat off
perdix 31
a_nutrition, I agree about purging except that you get *double* the taste -- once for each time the food passes your tongue. Yum!
flipflop34 0
well that's certainly not good...
RokNRoll11 9
what kind of parent is that, she needs counseling