Today, my mother tried to tell me that nicotine is the only substance that ensures weight loss, and that nicotine has been passed down in our family for over 5 generations of heavy smoking relatives. Then she encouraged me to start smoking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my mom, who quit smoking years ago, saying that I am the only person who stresses her out badly enough to want to smoke a cigarette. I have never once tried to stress her out, and in fact I do everything I can to make her life easier. She works in retail. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML
Today, my wife has quit nicotine. As expected, she's put on some weight, but it's all gone to her butt, boobs, and hips. She looks better than ever, easily 5 years younger, but she's so upset about the weight gain that she refuses to let me touch her, and she wears baggy clothes 24/7 now. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, my uncle gave me a lecture on how I eat too much "unhealthy" junk food, and that it can be very harmful for me. All the while smoking a cigarette. FML
Today, my parents have smoked for most of their lives and are both healthy as horses. Meanwhile, I smoked for two years, then went through hell quitting, and just had my first asthma attack and was lectured about "long term effects of tobacco, even after cessation." THIS IS BULLSHIT! FML
Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that secondhand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML
Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "After I eat" or maybe even "When I'm tired." What I got was "Every second since you were born." FML
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML
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Top comments
OrgasmicBunnies 9
thats pretty stupid.... I think she needs help.
badmandilon 19
She loves you to death!
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Comments (214)
MagicMarker 0
Ask your mom if she thinks that losing a few pounds is a fair exchange for dying a painful, premature death of lung cancer, throat cancer, heart disease, or any of the other varied and numerous ways that smoking kills people.
PanduhZombie 2
damn, she sounds like a ******* tobacco company trying to subliminally make kids smoke.
Delta2Almanac 7
I think what she's trying to say is.. . take one for the team
mhnilo88 0
she won't feel that way when she is suffering from cancer.
N3v43h 0
Tell your mom, it appears idiocy has been passed down for generations, but thankfully that gene appears to skip every 6th generation or so.
pinkspaceboundro 0
I'd let her know- this 6 th generation is gonna live past 40 and not die of lung cancer
AnneFTW 17
FYL For having and idiot mother, but good for you for not smoking!
angeluscado 15
Chopping off a limb also causes weight loss. Still isn't a particularly smart method to do so.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
121, I'm talking about the mother. 125, don't be so aggressive, now to answer your question of what doesn't cause cancer. What is cancer is what we ask first. Cancer is a mutated cell that is produced by a healthy cell that is reproducing itself. there are things that speed up body process and cell process which give you a higher chance of a cell producing a cancer. nicotine is a stimulant which helps this process. exercise is a major thing that helps prevent cancer cause you are physically helping the body and keeping cell order at it's best. I highly doubt driving a car gives you cancer unless it just happens.
Sunny_Eclipse 6
Fun fact: Your weight is more important than your lungs, heart, throat, taste buds, and all other organs affected by smoking! Not.