Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML
Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML
Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML
Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML
Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML
Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML
Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML
Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML
Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML
Today, I got the courage to surprise my boyfriend by shaving my pubic region. To my agonizingly painful dismay, the razor sliced through an apparent zit on one of my lips. Now my vagina is bleeding for a whole different reason, and I'm possibly traumatized. FML
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Top comments
jkemp1984 10
One word: idiot
plantfood 4
Skin yourself? Hahaha
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Comments (297)
beveywevey 5
Well, if the wounds won't heal they will serve as reminders to have someone hide the sharp objects before you drink again.
onthetoilet 3
Welcome to reality
eagles15 3
Firewhisky maybe...but you know Harry, he's a pussy
yourkindacool18 5
omgg funny how boner's comment has 69 likes! no one ruin it.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
I get pretty nutty on tequila, too OP.....just not THAT nutty. Come on, that was punny. No? *Hides in corner*
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
You can literally freeze your balls off. Manswers!! :D
MackenzieBug 0
that is kida sorta awesome! other than the fact that your a little young for a vasectomy don't you think? ?
marylovesyou8D 7
I dunno, seems like a pretty good idea to me.
KINGANATOR 2
The hangover part 3?
Suchagoonnn 4
Oh wow... I wish i never read this fml