Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML
Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, my apartment smelled like something was burning, so I checked the oven, toaster, outlets, and even the hallway. After an hour, I discovered the smell was coming from the candle I had forgotten I'd lit in the bathroom. I had spent an hour investigating a fire that wasn't happening. FML
Today, my not-quite-potty-trained toddler niece had a 'wee accident' in my bed. I used towels to mop it up and changed the sheets. Later, I had the bright idea to dry it faster by turning the electric blanket on high. Now my room smells like burned urine. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today, I was about to take a dump when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML
Today, my idiot son incinerated his shoes in the oven. They were wet and he wanted to "quick-dry" them, so now the whole house smells terrible. FML
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Top comments
schwinn11 0
"piss on fire" one of my favorite candle scents
BelaLugosisdead 0
groady much?
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Comments (54)
karleighpaige 4
I had to lol at this
PlasmaVirus 4
RIP IT OUT AND PUT IT ON THE HEATER.
lorraine1987 4
seriously what goes through someones mind to think that peeing on it would be smart what a dumbass!!!.
bonnniej 16
Why on earth would someone even consider pissing on it? Gross...
tyrone_anthony9 3
Sometimes I read these and I forget that there are actual people's lives...