Today, I went to visit my grandma at her old folks’ home. The soup she got for lunch was cold so I took it to the dining room to heat it up. As I put it in the microwave, a slow clap started behind me. I had to stand and wait for soup to heat while being wolf-whistled by a bunch of grandpas. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I reheated leftover soup and confidently carried the steaming bowl to my couch to watch TV. I sneezed halfway through sitting down, spilled soup all over my lap and instinctively yelled, “WHY, GOD?!” loud enough that my crazy neighbors banged on the wall. FML
Today, I decided to surprise-visit my grandparents. After knocking on the door and not getting a response, I opened it and walked in. Upon entering their house and yelling, "Hello", as I turned the corner I saw my near-deaf grandmother folding clothes while watching TV. She was topless. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, I tried to warm soup in a travel mug. I forgot to take the metal spoon out. The microwave lit up like a firework display, and I screamed so loudly that my neighbor knocked on my door to check if I was alive. FML
Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly ate the last of it, looked up smiling and said, "Thanks!" The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my grandmother when a very muscular young man entered the restaurant. As soon as he walked in, my 70-year-old widowed grandmother looked at him and said, out loud, "Ooh, eye candy!" Everyone in the restaurant began staring at us, and the poor guy's face was red as a tomato. FML
Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
Today, I went to a family dinner. While waiting to be seated, a guy walked by and I looked to see if he was hot. Then my grandma yelled, "Get your eyeballs back in your head and quit staring at boys!" The whole restaurant heard her. Including the guy. And yes, he was hot. FML
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Top comments
thelittlem 15
tell that to your daughter one day.
poolgirl789 6
Plot twist: The soup was gazpacho and the slow clap was sarcasm
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Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
Hey, now you have a target demographic! Learn some stripper moves and some probate law and you'll be on Easy Street in no time.
millsjoshua949 12
so??? They are lonely old men.
thelittlem 15
tell that to your daughter one day.
bloopaloop 27
In this situation I will. My daughter will be more fun, more understanding of other people, and a lot more emotionally intelligent than to call this a real problem.
kfchicken 31
so uncalled for cat calling is emotionally intelligent?
dragonladiesfire 19
If they were young handsome men, you may not have blinked an eye. Even though they may have made you feel uncomfortable, it could've been worse. The important part is that you did something nice for your grandma and I'm sure she appreciated it.
Jaymail 19
Enjoy it now. God willing some day you’ll be my age (66). And then the wolf whistles and ogling won’t happen anymore. Most of the men there are unable to do anything anymore but enjoy the sights. Viagra or no Viagra. Geritol or no Geritol.
lovelyhippos 15
File a harassment report with the home your grandma lives in as well as with the police. The police probably wont do anything about it but it at least leaves a paper trail if you need it someday.
brenniman 10
#15 Seriously? Call the cops because some harmless old grand fathers whistled at her? That's more than extreme under those harmless circumstances and even the cops would find that to bawl about it and make them waste precious time over it to be sissy like and over done.
lovelyhippos 15
LOL. Literally takes a 10 minute phone call to the non emergency line to report harassment. As her grandma lives in that home, she probably would like to visit her without being harassed. Obviously you've never been in an uncomfortable situation like that and WHY THE **** WOULD YOU WANT HER TO HAVE TO POSSIBLY GO THROUGH THIS EVERY TIME SHE VISITS HER GRANDMOTHER YOU PILLOCK?
princess_stabitty 20
Just because they look harmless, doesn't mean they are harmless. The same way their age doesn't mean they should be left off the hook for behaving in a disgusting way.
bloopaloop 27
Nope. This is horrible reason to call the police. You’re a creator of problems where they don’t exist.
Sonotsuave 37
I’m sorry for that discomfort & I personally don’t agree with a lot of the comments. I don’t believe in taking extreme action against such old men but also that doesn’t mean you have to tolerate it or that it’s flattering or no big deal. You can voice your discomfort and make it clear to them or the facility you don’t want that kind of attention.
poolgirl789 6
Plot twist: The soup was gazpacho and the slow clap was sarcasm