Anonymous
Europe
Do not want
Today, I had a chat with a one-night stand and she's decided to keep the child. My life is basically over. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Dean
United States
Fumbled
Today, the cops showed up to my house and served me a child support order from the girl I had a one-night stand with, and who'd promised me she would abort the baby. All this was two years ago. My wife of three years was in the house and heard everything. She packed up her things and told me she’ll be calling her attorney. FML
ManyRegrets
Bloomsburg, United States
My legacy
Today, I found out that the one who got away just had a baby, and named it after me. My current longtime girlfriend and I already decided not to have kids. FML
Anonymous
United States
You deal with it
Today, one year after giving my girlfriend an ultimatum that if she aborted our baby, then I would leave, she had the baby… and then left it with me. Now I'm stuck as a single parent while she is out living the high life, wanting nothing to do with either of us. FML
Anonymous
Adopt a different attitude
Today, I have always been adamant on not wanting children ever, then I did a stupid thing, and now I’m now single and pregnant with twins at 22 years-old. My life is so fucking over. FML
Anonymous
United States
Surprise surprise
Today, there were a few loud and annoying kids running around my store. My coworker and I started talking. I jokingly stated, "Yeah, kids ruin everything." But before I could get out, "God knows I'm not ready to be a dad," my phone rang. It was my one night stand. I'm going to be a daddy. FML
Anonymous
Congratulations. Or not.
Today, I was told that I will be a father in 2 months. I had a one night stand about 7 months ago. FML
so_screwed
Salinas, United States
Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML
Brandenn J Moore
Flip-flopping
Today, my girlfriend, who I've been living with for the last month, told me she's not attracted to me and wants to see other people. She told me this after months of dating and telling me she was thinking about having a child with me. FML
Anonymous
United States
Trapped
Today, it's been a week since my girl told me she's pregnant and I fled town in a panic. I realized how badly I fucked up and called her, begging to come back. When I showed up at her house, her brothers kicked my ass and threw me in the street, promising to wring me dry for child support. FML
Stephen
Fort Rucker, United States
Manipulation
Today, I realized that I got set up by my narcissistic ex-fiancée. She'd planned to get pregnant by me, did, then halfway way through the pregnancy put a restraining order on me, and went MIA. Now I don't know anything about my child. FML
Top comments
Bogrbon 27
Wrap it before you tap it, but also demand a paternity test. If it was a one night stand it's possible she's scamming you because she was already pregnant and wanted a baby daddy. Happened to a friend of mine. If it's yours though, you kind of deserve it.
thefmlman2011 37
Cover your stump before you hump
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Comments (15)
PinkCannibal 1
If you really want nothing to deal with the child when you go to court you can relinquish all parental rights.
DarkAngelsBlade 25
After the paternity test, (if it’s yours) step two is getting a lawyer and discuss signing over your parental rights and noting that you have no desire for a child, that you’re unfit to be a parent due to not wanting children, or anything the lawyer can think of. Like, if you did everything right and shit happen that really sucks but if you didn’t and shot happened wellll on you bud. But if you’re not in a relationship with her and explain she’s on her own (with evidence) and you have no desire to be a part of the child’s life there is a slim chance you can fight child support. (Which should honestly only exist for partners/abusers and not the average acquaintance)
Tikmysta 20
So many “condimise” comments, y’all are way too creative - I love it Your life has just begun mate, embrace it and do what you must and what is just - whether relinquishing your paternal rights or being the best dad ever. Thabiso- father of five in South Africa ☺️
randybryant799 21
She's the one carrying the child. She's the one who has to give birth. She's the one who will most likely raise the child. And your life is over? Please.