Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML
Today, I had a dictation test. The whole classroom was silent, but I suddenly needed to fart. Not to break the silence, I wanted to fart slowly in the hope it would be silent. It didn't make the fart less obvious, it just made it longer, so that everyone noticed and started laughing. FML
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
Today, I was in a meeting at work, trying to keep my composure. I quietly shifted in my chair and accidentally let out a fart. It echoed in the conference room, and everyone stared at me in stunned silence. My boss sarcastically said, “Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” FML
Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
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Top comments
Medieval_Unicorn 24
You gotta own it, assert dominance, they'll know you don't mess around if you make eye contact while it's happening
Stripez234 16
That... Is utterly hilarious
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Comments (81)
Brutus25 3
Funniest thing I've have read on here. but like another person said " Own it like a boss" as those moments don't come often.
yuneshinfanboy 14
I for one would be glad if someone did something interesting in my workplace; yes , even farting God bless OP
kittykatmarie 5
That FML just made my day. Im sure it was embarrassing for you, but you will be able to laugh about it someday soon.
creditless 14
this is why u should always say YES to crop dusting!
StarDust5921 16
I cannot stop laughing. This is amazing.
HEnRyEdwardsIII 15
you gotta weigh at least a good 185 pounds... so own it like your curves-- you're here, in body and spirit, make your presence known. Everyone can enjoy a good flatulation break, hopefully it was taco Tuesday, so you wouldn't be alone.
EnvyMe33 26
It’s usually socially acceptable if it was a guy farting, but for a girl to fart it’s unacceptable. Everyone farts. Women could probably out fart, men especially if she is on the heavy side... you go girl
Blucanary 6
OMG I laughed SO HARD when I read this!!! "It wasnt me" was the best part!!! HAHAHAHA