Today, a five year-old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML
Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was, "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML
Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML
Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
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Top comments
1215116a 14
Spoiled brat. -_-
Oceanborn_fml 24
You're babysitting and allow the kid to get his hands on a knife? Please get a different job
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Comments (168)
wtflolfail 4
For some reason I think your to blame, what kind of babysitter let's a 5 year old kid get anywhere near the knives?
live_2_eat 5
That's just wrong. If you know the parents are just as screwed up, you should seriously consider reporting them and this incident to child services or something. If the parents seem fine, let them know there's something seriously wrong with their kid!!
dre_bro11 12
OP, now you know how the kid's teacher feels, always being threatened, 'I'll tell my parents that you hit me!'
beloved17 0
lmao
vienna24 4
Haha cut their nuts off!
SuperGirlTG 0
By any chance is the kid's name Isaac?
Gagirly113 0
my mom is laughing so hard she crying xD i think i like this kid :D
rinranthatway 4
wow that's worse then then time the 4 year old I was babysitting swund golf clubs at me and bit me.That kid was so difficult to put to bed
newmandotcom 6
YDI for being owned by a 5 year old.
reebokkid123 14
Soooo....did you give him the icecream..?