Today, I accidentally rammed my finger into my desk, and it felt like I'd broken it. Yelping in pain, I fell over onto my bed, missed it, and landed on the floor. My dog saw this as a good opportunity to climb on top of me and start humping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I realized I was late for work, so I rushed out of bed only to accidentally step onto my dog which then promptly bit my leg and now I'm in the ER. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I accidentally shoved my finger up my cat's butt while trying to push him off my nightstand in the dark. FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my friends when I tripped and a chair rolled over my foot, breaking a bone. A friend, who didn't believe me, then dogpiled on top of me and laughed as I screamed. FML
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Your dog was embarrassed by your clumsiness and decided your are not alpha material.
bass_ftp 12
Sounds like a script for a bad **** movie.
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Comments (6)
bass_ftp 12
Sounds like a script for a bad **** movie.
RichardPencil 32
Your dog was embarrassed by your clumsiness and decided your are not alpha material.
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
the dog was just trying to massage you, you ungrateful piece of shit!
MitiMiki 16
That is an FML and funny as hell, at the same time.
Wadlaen 24
So in the middle of the pain, you got a mercy-shag. He probably thought it would cheer you up. It certainly did for him...
Velimir Tchatchevsky 6
That was the perfect time you have to admit :D