Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said, "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, my tampon leaked right before I had to go to court. I'm the plaintiff and I work for my city, and blood stains isn't a good look. FML
Today, I have to go to court to contest a bullshit citation I got in the local park. I’m pregnant and was picnicking with my kids when my toddler ran off. I took off after him, leaving my blanket and food. When I came back, the power tripping park ranger wrote me a ticket for littering. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, I confronted my lousy, loud, messy neighbors about the trash they throw in my yard. They responded by throwing my trash in their yard, then called the police to report me for vandalism and illegal dumping when I returned their trash. Guess who has a court appearance in two weeks… FML
Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML
Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML
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Top comments
Cheezburger_fml 0
Crazy ladies in the park always have bird seed to throw. FYL
sayhello_fml 0
How does bird seed dirty a suit?
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Comments (190)
Darkon 0
Should of told her that unlike you she is now a criminal for assault!
AvenVonDom 0
Lawyer....criminal... same thing!
aaaaa12345_fml 0
HA
afmanslady 0
sometimes, i hate the human compulsion to speak your mind about other people's life based on scraps of information.
ZuRG_fml 7
QFT
WormFromABird 0
Shoulda mugged that b**** right there
TysonFawlay 0
This pisses me off so much, you should've sued her. I hate people like that.
xNephilim 19
For what? Dirtying the suit? I can just imagine that... "But, your honor, she DIRTIED MY SUIT! You need to throw her in jail!"
Kuato 0
YDI for being a lawyer.
smartalek 2
he probably has more money then you. you have to be smart to be a lawyer. so you're not, if you can't respect it.
dancin303 0
not to mention IF you were there as the accused you could have been innocent
bobtea 1
You could have easily turned that situation around. If you had stood there calmly and said "I'm a lawyer. Are you done now?" things would have been better for you and an FML for her. At least half of the FMLs on this site wouldn't even be FMLs if people would bother to explain themselves and laugh about it later. FYL, though, that shouldn't happen to anyone.
redbluegreen 41
Finally someone with reason! I completely agree with you.
4ube_fml 6
Exaclty. I've would have said "i'm the (city, district..) Attorney, I'll sue you for feeding the birds which is degradation of public goods" (well in some cities it's actually a felony to feed the birds, since they shit all over the place and how's going to clean it up ?)
UrFlyyness 0
THIS comment was funnier than the FML post! LMBO!
sarahfoundnemo 10
I do agree that OP could've roasted that woman and turned the situation around but on the other hand he shouldn't have to feel forced to explain himself just because she's judgemental
Bashar_fml 0
YDI for being a bloodsucking lawyer :P
lovex3_fml 0
that must have been some nasty bird feed to mess up a suit...