Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said, "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, my tampon leaked right before I had to go to court. I'm the plaintiff and I work for my city, and blood stains isn't a good look. FML
Today, I have to go to court to contest a bullshit citation I got in the local park. I’m pregnant and was picnicking with my kids when my toddler ran off. I took off after him, leaving my blanket and food. When I came back, the power tripping park ranger wrote me a ticket for littering. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, I confronted my lousy, loud, messy neighbors about the trash they throw in my yard. They responded by throwing my trash in their yard, then called the police to report me for vandalism and illegal dumping when I returned their trash. Guess who has a court appearance in two weeks… FML
Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML
Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML
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Top comments
Cheezburger_fml 0
Crazy ladies in the park always have bird seed to throw. FYL
sayhello_fml 0
How does bird seed dirty a suit?
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Comments (190)
YouSoDeservedIt 0
I don't know what's worse - the people with McJobs hating on lawyers or the wannabe lawyers who drop first-year law school terms like they think it makes them sound important. And this really isn't an FML.
btuwo 0
that really sucks, fyl
elenoa_fml 0
OP should've told her: Here's my business card. I'll see you in court next week, bitch.
justdesserts 0
YDI for sitting near old people
mryan239 0
I would have said, Excuse me mam' you have just ruined my suit, oh and i am a lawyer not a criminal. Heres my card (Walks away)
XXnidocivXX 0
LOL.. yeah and then i'll be like. you are abusing me.. i can charge you
eastmanwolf 0
God there are so many other reasons why you could have been in court. What a bitch.
bob1124 0
And even if he was accused of something, doesn't the concept of "innocent until proven guilty" mean anything? He should have **** punted the bitch.
dan81892 2
i hope you told her you were a lawyer and made her feel really bad.
AshleyRose784 0
what a crotchety old hag
itsgen 16
first i want to say omg i wanna be a lawyer ;D and second dam! i freaken hate bitches like that, you should of said " bitch i am a successful lawyer and yea i could sue you for that (jst as a threat) and why the hell are you listening on my conversation?" its rude to ease drop and that bitch made an ass out of her self
kitkatkelly 0
What an idiot. I hope she gets arrested.