Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was wood chips that were behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as someone with a large chest, I'm used to sometimes finding food in my clothes at the end of the day. However, when I took off my bra off, I found half of a dead grasshopper. FML
Today, I was removing large shrubs from a house. I heard my co-worker yell something, but I couldn't hear him, so I just pulled the stump out anyway. What I realized too late was that he was telling me that there was a swarm of bees living behind the stump. FML
Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, while stocking the green beans at work, I picked up a "leaf" which turned out to be a grasshopper. I screamed so loud, my coworkers now think I'm crazy. This is only my second week here. FML
Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML
Today, I helped my parents out by tearing down the old, rusty swing set that's been in our backyard for years. Little did I know that there was a beehive hidden in the long grass, and I now have dozens of painful red bumps all over me. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
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Top comments
KenMcGormick 0
those are happy grasshoppers
MidgetMonster 0
that is disgusting. how did you not feel the dead lumps of grasshopper in your bra?
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Comments (151)
etherealshadows 1
What man is making you perform hard manual labor?
Immature_fml 0
Okay, I guess pancakes. YDI for not noticing in the beginning.
DESTROYERS3 0
did it make you..."jump" ? :D
Peacemaker9 7
nothing like good ol dead grasshopper stuffing for ur bra......lol
Peacemaker9 7
#111 ftw!! that made me lmao for a bit..... nice one dude..... lol
Peacemaker9 7
20 = win 100%!!!!!
Peacemaker9 7
#33 perdix instant win with that!!!!!!! nice picture that came out in my mind
yessirfosho 0
OMG You were doing contruction work and got a dead bug on you. OMG your life is so horrible. Please get back in the kitchen where you obviously belong.
ayezoee 0
Today, I was chillin at the crib when some b*tch started to tear it up. The worst part is, when I was falling through the air, I landed in her bra and got stuck in between her sweaty boobs until she got home. FML.
ice723 5
lesson learned: stop wearing bras! and the critters would have slipped all the way down and out and you never would have known what they were.