Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was wood chips that were behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as someone with a large chest, I'm used to sometimes finding food in my clothes at the end of the day. However, when I took off my bra off, I found half of a dead grasshopper. FML
Today, I was removing large shrubs from a house. I heard my co-worker yell something, but I couldn't hear him, so I just pulled the stump out anyway. What I realized too late was that he was telling me that there was a swarm of bees living behind the stump. FML
Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, while stocking the green beans at work, I picked up a "leaf" which turned out to be a grasshopper. I screamed so loud, my coworkers now think I'm crazy. This is only my second week here. FML
Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML
Today, I helped my parents out by tearing down the old, rusty swing set that's been in our backyard for years. Little did I know that there was a beehive hidden in the long grass, and I now have dozens of painful red bumps all over me. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
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Top comments
KenMcGormick 0
those are happy grasshoppers
MidgetMonster 0
that is disgusting. how did you not feel the dead lumps of grasshopper in your bra?
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Comments (151)
rotflmmfaoatu 0
well that sucks
perdix 31
First, I hope you found a pair of supple, round ******* in there with succulent, erect nipples. After that, I hope you found one live grasshopper trying to motorboat you.
aeliz 0
Hahahahaha. The visual there... It's just amazing.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Why were you ripping off siding with your bra so easily accessible? I found popcorn in my bra one night but I had been wearing a lowcut jumper to the movies. At least they were dead grasshoppers and not live termites. FYL
perdix 31
Yeah, after silicone breast implants were banned, I heard wooden ones became really popular. Ironically, when guys felt them, they'd LOSE their wood!
Angeledice 0
Lol!
burnquist764 0
You sound like a tough girl, so you need to get over it. Put on your big-girl panties, pull it out and flick it away. Still gross that it happened, but it could have been worse, you could have stumbled onto a live rat nest.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Two possible assumptions that can be made with this FML: 1) The OP is a man who wears a bra. 2) I would venture to guess that the OP found $3.45 with a note saying, "Thank you for the great time. You truly know how to drive it down my fairway and into the hole. Love, Tiger"
yellowjeep 0
now that is truly funny!!
yake12 0
# 38. EPIC Wintacular
ThaHero 0
What else is down there?
revcanon 0
so?
judetheobvious 0
YDI for thinking you can do a man's job
britbritxxo 3
Ass hole!! Any woman can do that job, it's not a ''mans job'' at all!!
erjaguam 0
eww
redbeater 5
you found your big boobs.
commonusername 4
LOLOLOL. they are probably tiny.