Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his tenth beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML
Today, I went to my friend's costume party dressed as Michael Myers. My costume must've been too conspicuous because it drew violent attention. I'm still sore from the pushing, tackling, tripping, falling and body shots. FML
Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML
Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML
Today, I went to a costume party dressed as a pineapple. As it turned out, the theme was "tropical", not "tropical fruit". Everyone else was in Hawaiian shirts while I stood there looking fruity. FML
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Good thing you didn't dress up as a ******.
Tarvo1 0
Today, I went to a party, found a big piñata, and hit it repeatedly. A person fell out. FML
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Comments (68)
Punkachu_fml 0
So you must have looked good since everyone was hittin on you ;)
Miss_Represented 0
Rofl!!! <3 this made my morning
T_is_the_man 0
"hmmmm i wonder what i should wear to this costume party? O! I know I'll b a pinata. This can't go wrong"......
CallMeHush 1
A Dora the Exlporer one right?
CoachLlama 5
So whats your costume going to be next year. A nail?
cufaoil 11
too risky.... he'll end up getting hammered...
CoachLlama 5
I see what you did there.
rallets 23
yea you hit the nail on the head with that one
cufaoil 11
next time, don't swing on the chandelier....
monkeyCanDoMYJob 7
Maybe you should have taken off the costume and watch drunk people hit (or least try to) it. But come on, you were a PINATA! It would be wrong NOT TO HIT IT!
Haw_Haw 0
Do I even NEED to say how dumb that was?
IScreamRawr 4
Oh my god this reminds me of a demetri Martin joke. “I like parties, but I don’t like piñatas because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals. Hey, there’s a donkey with some pizzazz. Let’s kick its ass. What I’m trying to say is, don’t make the same Halloween costume mistake that I did.”
Macadamia_fml 0
Dude, that was sooo asking for it! I wouldn't have even been drunk and I would've hit you :D