Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his tenth beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML
Today, I went to my friend's costume party dressed as Michael Myers. My costume must've been too conspicuous because it drew violent attention. I'm still sore from the pushing, tackling, tripping, falling and body shots. FML
Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML
Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML
Today, I went to a costume party dressed as a pineapple. As it turned out, the theme was "tropical", not "tropical fruit". Everyone else was in Hawaiian shirts while I stood there looking fruity. FML
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Good thing you didn't dress up as a ******.
Tarvo1 0
Today, I went to a party, found a big piñata, and hit it repeatedly. A person fell out. FML
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Comments (68)
Geoffrx7 0
you had it coming
lm27 5
piñata costume + drunk people = bad idea...it's just common sense...
WarmedIce 0
too true
fakeaccountX 6
YDI YDI. (You deserve it you damn idiot.)
IphonFML 6
HAYY! this is like the dice fml where everyone was rolling the people wearing dice. but again it IS different.
jewban 3
mm I'd hit dat shit all night looong
AriTheAirhead 10
you must have been a smash hit at the party.
karinabeby 0
Did you give them candy ?
imright24 0
YDI. What did you think drunk people were going to do?
perdix 31
Good thing you didn't dress up as a ******.
DocBastard 40
God damn you, perdix. This is exactly what I was going to say. Go do some work and give someone else a chance!
KingDingALing 9
Perdix wins. KaySL said that you should stop abusing me.
DocBastard 40
Who, me? I don't abuse anyone except those who deserve it.
KingDingALing 9
No, I was talking to Perdix.
DocBastard 40
Oh, ok. I doubt Kay said anything of the sort, however. She abuses the most people here by a nautical mile.
perdix 31
King, I wasn't aware that I started.
KingDingALing 9
Kay said that he climbed into my window and then Perdix busted in with a shotgun and told him not to touch the merchandise.... KaySL- You want some love? Be at my place in 10 minutes. Make sure that you're drunk before you get here. Don't forget the PCP, Cocaine, and the lube. Especially the lube... Wait...what?
KingDingALing 9
She? Hmm...strap-on? I might "purposely" pass out to get some mouth to mouth...but other then that, we'll be fine. I forgot to mention, I will be video taping everything so that I can have a memory of this...
DocBastard 40
Kay - I'm glad you hate me now. It's comforting to know that you hate everyone equally. How do you say "Bring it, bitch!" in French?
KingDingALing 9
She? Hmmm...strap-on? I might "accidently" overdose so that I can pass out and get some mouth to mouth...but other then that, we'll be fine.. I forgot to mention, bring some edible body paint...that's definitely a must.
KingDingALing 9
Maybe the camera hates you because you rejected it! :p
daminantion 14
bastard, i do broient a friendly version is "en-garde", though a harsher version would be "bouche mes fèces" ;)
Wolfipoo 31
That'd be ****** up...
Tarvo1 0
Today, I went to a party, found a big piñata, and hit it repeatedly. A person fell out. FML
sourgirl101 29
And.... I never got candy.
SCBeauty1983 0
WIN!!! =)
jessthebest3 0
I FOUND WALDO!
MissLizWolf 8
You really deserve it when you thought drunk people wouldn't bash you with sticks...
DjeePee 25
I saw that coming.
DudeImBetter 0
if you come to a baseball pizza party dressed as a piñata what do you expect.
danieyellie 0
lol I read ur description! I love ur taste in music :)
carnage1106 0
shit happens
truehitman2010 0
did the drunk guys use there sticks.