Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his tenth beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML
Today, I went to my friend's costume party dressed as Michael Myers. My costume must've been too conspicuous because it drew violent attention. I'm still sore from the pushing, tackling, tripping, falling and body shots. FML
Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML
Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML
Today, I went to a costume party dressed as a pineapple. As it turned out, the theme was "tropical", not "tropical fruit". Everyone else was in Hawaiian shirts while I stood there looking fruity. FML
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Good thing you didn't dress up as a ******.
Tarvo1 0
Today, I went to a party, found a big piñata, and hit it repeatedly. A person fell out. FML
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Comments (68)
FYLDeep 26
You definitely should have seen that coming. Oh well, try not to make the same mistake again. Dress up in a safe costume next year. You know, go as a dartboard or something.
beeffyboy 0
go as their mother next year.
AnotherOutlook 0
The FML couldn't get any better unless you puked on them after they hit you
bethan1 4
Op you are a terrible person just think of how disapointed those people were when they discovered that there was no candy inside just blood and guts...
truehitman2010 0
and a baby
TheLetterZero 7
Umm... duh?
Zebidee 9
Please tell me you at least had the decency to fill yourself up with candy first. It's the Piñata Code.
Thanateros 1
Are you ******* retarded? Oh wait yeah you are.
qtbabe127 22
fail.
gigilvrs6 0
Didn't you know that to dress as a piñata you have got to be brave and ready for an obese drunk guy to hit you with a baseball bat?
beeffyboy 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. bitch